Requiem
by Tietsu
Summary: *Chapter 8 up* An introspective piece from Reno's perspective. Spanning from Reno's life before the Turks, to after Tseng's death, Reno reflects on his friend and leader, trying to cope with his death. *Yaoi*
1. Chapter 1

Hm...I'm on a roll with the writing thing lately...three fics in as many days. Must be making up for those months I didn't do much. ^^ 

Only meant this to be a one shot originally, but so much for that. ^^ Anyhoo, this fic is written in the first person from Reno's perspective. It'll be yaoi, I warn you now, and will also have some pretty disturbing content. Aka: Not happy stuff. If that's not your cup of tea, there's a little something called the back button you should be using right about now. ^_^ 

It'll also get a bit fluffy in places too though, knowing me. *grin* No lemon, but probably some pretty heavy lime...and uh, that's all I can think of at 2:30am. ^_^ *passes out* 

Disclaimer: Not mine...*snore* No happy bishies...*mumble* Happy bishies belong to square...*Zzzzzzzz* 

~*~Requiem~*~

It's strange how one's life can change so drastically. How it can go from heaven to hell in an instant, and vice versa. I went from being a grimy kid on the streets to being an accomplished Turk. Then, at the end, my world crashed down around my ears and I was in hell again. Not the same kind of hell as before, but hell nevertheless...and far more painful. 

It's because of him. All of it. Tseng made me what I am, and then he broke me. It's kinda funny; everything I am is through no action of my own, but because of him. I suppose I should be upset that I owe so much of what I am to one man...I've always considered myself a rather independent sort. But I'm not, in fact, I'm more grateful then he ever knew. I don't seem like the kind of guy who feels much gratitude about anything, but I do. I'm grateful to him for seeing through the dirty street kid to the possibilities underneath. Possibilities I never would have imagined. 

I guess...I'm just trying to work through this without going crazy. Tseng's death hit me hard. I couldn't handle it. I just couldn't. And so I tried pushing every thought, every memory of him away, and the pain along with it. It didn't work. I only ended up hurting all the more because of it. So, I'll try it the other way. Instead of trying to forget, I'll remember. Remember him, all the things he did, all that he was. Everything that made him so important to me. The bad along with the good. Maybe then I'll be able to put his spirit to rest. Maybe then I can move on and live my life again. Or maybe not. 

But...what the hell? It's worth a shot. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hey, Reno...." Marrick started. 

Glaring, I reached out and grabbed him roughly, clapping a hand over his mouth. "Shut UP!" I hissed viciously, "When I say don't talk, I mean don't _fucking_ talk!" 

He stared at me with wide eyes for a moment, and then nodded. 

Releasing him, I turned back to watching the few passerby there were at this hour, feeling a little guilty about reacting so harshly. But I was tense as hell, and scared out of my wits, and I sure as hell didn't want anyone noticing us. So I suppose anyone in my position would be snappy. 

Glancing back at Marrick, I sighed. I had been on the streets for as long as I could remember; doing everything I had to in order to survive. Stealing, mostly. But I had someone else to take care of now, and it just wasn't enough anymore. Not for both of us. 

Marrick had been an orphan his whole life as well, but unlike me, he'd been one of the few lucky ones to be raised in an orphanage. Then the orphanage had lost it's funding, leaving the kids on the streets to fend for themselves. 

One day I had happened to come upon Marrick getting the living shit beat out of him by a couple of assholes I'd seen around. I don't know what got into me; I'm not normally the valiant type. I was usually smart enough to know not to stick my nose into other people's problems. In this world, you lived longer that way. But, for some reason or another, I decided to help the kid out. Maybe it was that fate crap at work or something. Who knows? 

I was by no means what you'd call big, but I was a vicious little shit. I knew how to fight, and I was damned good at it. It didn't take me long to knock those bastard's heads together and send 'em scurrying away with their tails between their legs. 

After that, I kinda...adopted Marrick I suppose. He wouldn't have lasted more then a few more days without some sort of protection, and I felt sorry for the kid. He was young, barely ten, and small for his age. And pretty. Hell, the kid was prettier then most girls, and it wasn't hard to imagine where he'd end up left on his own, that is if he didn't starve or get beaten to death first. The slums definitely weren't the safest place for a pretty, defenseless kid. 

That's why I was here, about to do something that made my gut tighten up in cold fear, made my stomach churn till I thought I was going to hurl. For Marrick. So he'd have food in his stomach and clothes on his back. He was like a little brother to me, and fucking _damned_ if I was going to let him starve. 

It shouldn't be so hard, really. A lot of the others did it and came out of it okay, and more importantly, with a decent amount of cash in their pockets. What mattered was keeping Marrick healthy, and I'd do anything in my power for him. I loved the stupid little brat. 

I glanced at the large clock on the building across the street, and sighed. It was getting late, and I knew I should send Marrick home before I missed my chance. This was _not_ something I wanted Marrick to know about, but he'd insisted on coming anyway, and I'd given in on the condition he'd go home when I told him to. 

"Marrick?" I said softly, turning to look at him. 

He looked at me with those wide sloe eyes, full of questions and a spark of fear because he didn't understand what was going on. "Yeah Reno?" He asked quietly. 

"Go home." I said simply. 

Uncertainty plain on his face, Marrick glanced out at the people on the street before looking back at me. He shifted from foot to foot, looking distinctly uncomfortable. "But, Reno..." He began hesitantly. 

"Listen, kid." I said, giving him a_ look_. "We agreed that when I said go, you'd go. So get the hell outta here, and keep outta sight, okay? And whatever you do, _don't_ go anywhere till I get back, got it?" 

"Yessir." He mumbled, turning to go. He paused then, casting a glance back at me, and a second later he was hugging me fiercely, small arms wrapped around my chest, face buried in my shoulder. 

I smiled slightly, returning the embrace. He was a good kid...it was a shame life had dealt him such a hard hand. 

"Be careful, okay?" Marrick said, words muffled by my shoulder. 

I couldn't help but smile again. "Of course kiddo." I said, ruffling his hair. "Always. Now get going." I said, stepping away and giving him a gentle shove. 

Marrick said nothing, just stared at me for a moment, and then he was gone, melting into the shadows. He was good at that sort of thing. Vanishing, I mean. Damned if he wasn't better at hiding then anyone I'd ever met. Then again, if he wasn't, there's no way in hell I'd have let him go alone. 

Turning my attention back to the street, I leaned back against the wall, waiting nervously for the man I was supposed to meet. There weren't many people left out at this hour, and the street was nearly deserted. The only light provided was that of the neon signs from the businesses lining the street; most of them closed. Those and the few street lamps that weren't broken. All in all it made for a rather eerie scene, and it only added to my apprehension. 

Then suddenly, as if appearing from nowhere, there he was. I knew rationally that he'd just passed from the dark into one of the pools of light, but it sent a fearful chill up my spine nevertheless. I shook my head, trying to clear it, trying to ignore the tight grip fear had on my heart and told myself to grow the hell up. 

It didn't work. Fuck, I was scared. Not that I'd ever admit it to anyone else, of course, but just thinking about what lay ahead of me...No. Firmly stopping that train of thoughts in its tracks, I thought instead of Marrick. Reminded myself that this was for him, and that it I didn't go through with it, I'd be failing the kid. 

That helped a little, not much, but at least it was something. He didn't see me, I realized when he stopped walking and just stood, waiting. So I took the opportunity to study him. Didn't look like a bad sort, really. The man was definitely on the attractive side, he had one of those perfect tans, and his short cropped blonde hair fell just so. The guy looked more like he'd be at home on a beach then in the business suit he now wore. It also seemed to me that this guy took a lot of pains with his appearance, a sharp contrast to my own rather unkempt looks. Almost made me feel a little self-conscious. Almost. 

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Time to get this over with. After all...hell, what's the worst that could happen? I considered that for a moment and decided it was probably best not to think about it. 

Well, here goes nothing. "Hey." I said, stepping out of the shadows, "Jared, right?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant and hoping to hell my fear didn't show. 

He didn't say anything at first; instead looking me over like one might look at something they intended to buy. Impassive and calculating. Which I suppose made sense, and I tried not to squirm under that piercing gaze. I wasn't quite sure if I'd be insulted or relieved if the guy changed his mind. I mean, I was a bit on the scruffy side, but I sure as hell wasn't ugly either. Apparently he liked what he saw, because after a moment a small smile curved his lips and he nodded. 

Unsure what to do now; I just kind of stared at him, nerves tingling and jumpy as hell. If someone where to come up behind me at that point and say, "Boo!" I probably would have jumped out of my skin and all the way to fucking Wutai. 

Luckily for my nerves not a minute had passed before the guy turned and started walking away, obviously meaning for me to follow. Falling into step beside him, I followed him to his car, and got into the passengers seat, all without a word. My heart was pounding wildly, and I jumped when he started the car, the sudden sound nearly scaring me out of my wits. I was a wreck. 

The man, Jared, didn't speak a word during the drive, and for some reason the oppressive silence only frazzled my poor nerves more. The ride was a short one, far too short, and soon we pulled up in front of an apartment building. I sat there for a moment after Jared got out of the car, trying pretty damned unsuccessfully to calm myself down, and after a moment I gave up and followed. 

He led me up a flight of stairs and down a long hallway, saying nothing, still maintained that God. Damned. Nerve-wracking. SILENCE! I felt like I was going to scream if he didn't say something soon. 

But he said nothing, and I didn't scream. Instead, I followed him to his door, on the outside the perfect example of composure. On the inside, I felt like crying. The fear was nearly choking me now. 

He opened the door and slipped inside, leaving it opened behind him. For a moment I just stood there, staring into that room. A hundred thousand confused emotions were screaming through me, and I'd never been so fucking scared in my life. Taking a deep breath, I told myself firmly that this was for Marrick. Repeating that over and over like a silent mantra, clinging to that thought like a lifeline, I stepped into the room, shutting the door softly behind me.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Next chapter: Tseng makes his entrance, and a lot of general not happiness. 


	2. Chapter 2

WARNING: This chapter contains some pretty nasty stuff, nothing too graphic, but the thought behind it is enough to merit the warning. Tread carefully, ne? 

~*~Requiem: Part 2~*~

It happened so fast that I didn't even have time react. One moment I was shutting the door, and the next I was on my back on the bed, forcing myself not to panic as he impatiently removed my clothes. He straddled my hips, pressing himself against me. I stared up into those cold, cruel blue eyes, unable to act, think, to even breathe. 

I didn't realize it until a few days later, but he knew. He read the terror in my eyes, and reveled in it. As much as the sex, he wanted that fear; the knowledge that what he was about to do to me scared the living hell out of me. 

My skin crawled, everywhere his hands or lips touched felt coated in grime. I wanted to scream, to cry, to crawl out of my own skin. Anything to escape. But I was a prisoner, made so by the fact that I had come of my own free will. Trapped by my own choice. 

Cruel smile twisting his lips, he threaded his fingers through my hair, yanking hard. I yelped in pain, squirming, and he chuckled, leaning down till his face was mere inches from my own. "Are you afraid?" It was the first time he'd spoken, his voice deep and sultry. 

I didn't answer, I couldn't. I don't think my voice would have responded if I'd tried. He stared at me a moment longer, then darted down, kissing me hard. 

I tried to jerk away, stomach turning, but he held me fast, forcing his tongue inside my mouth. I gagged, struggling in earnest now, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't seem to get away. I cried out as I felt a sudden, sharp pain down my side. 

He pulled back slightly, still holding me down easily and shoved a small knife in my face. It was tipped with blood. "Be careful, little whore," he purred, slicing the knife down my other side, "Don't struggle too

much...I might get carried away." 

I stared at him, eyes wide. What the fuck had I gotten myself into? 

Seemingly satisfied that he'd have no more problems, Jared set the knife aside and flipped me onto my stomach, ordering me on my hands and knees. I complied slowly, trying to ignore the sharp pain in my sides, trying to ignore the blood trickling over my stomach and down my thighs, dripping onto the bed. 

From that point on my memory gets kind of indistinct. I remember the white hot flash of pain mingled with mind-numbing fear the first time he fucked me. I remember the revulsion I felt when he touched me. I remembered thinking it was over after that first time, and the dread I felt when I realized he was far from done. 

I remember all the strange...toys...he used. And I remember the pain. More then anything else I remember the pain. The pain when he fucked me, when he cut me, when he hit me and scratched me and bit me. I remember his eyes. Those cold, cruel, glittering blue orbs shining with a sadistic delight in watching me suffer. I remember the way he would smile, just a little bit, every time I cried out in pain. 

I hated him. That sick, twisted _fucker_. Strangely enough, to this day, blondes aren't my type. Especially blue eyed blondes. Go fucking figure. 

It was nearly dawn by the time he decided he was done with me. At one point he suddenly stood up, stretched and walked over to the dresser. Picking up a wad of money off the top, he tossed at me. I just stared at it, a little dumbstruck, not quite all there after my ordeal. 

Jared, as cool and composed as you please, the fucker, turned and walked into the bathroom. "I expect you to be gone when I come out," he tossed over his shoulder, shutting the door behind him. 

Feeling numb, I grabbed Jared's shirt, using it to wipe up some of the blood, then dressed and stuffed the money inside my shirt. It was odd, but for some reason I hadn't really expected him to pay me. Casting a glance at the bathroom door, I turned to leave, wanting nothing more at that moment then to sleep. 

I finally got home just as the sun was beginning to rise. Careful not to wake Marrick, I slipped inside and collapsed among the mismatched bunch of pillows and blankets I'd stolen over the years, falling into an uneasy and restless slumber. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It got easier after that. I learned to pick my clients a little more carefully, learned how to push everything so far back in my mind that it was like I wasn't even there. I think Marrick began to suspect where I was getting the cash after a while, but he never asked, and I never offered any explanations. It was better just to let him wonder. 

I'll always carry the scars from that first encounter. The physical ones, and the scars harder to see. As much of a flirt as I can be, the thought of sex scared the hell outta me for a long time after that. Well, not as long as I "hid" from it, like I did when I was doing it for cash, but the thought of being all there, being aware like that first time...well, you get the idea. 

I don't think I'll ever be able to be the dominant one, ever. That's something ingrained so deep it's never gone away. Which pretty much rules out women as far as sex goes. I tried it once, and I'll never try it again. I guess I'm kinda weird, I mean, you'd think it would go the other way, wouldn't you? That I'd never want be in that position again...but, I guess people are funny like that. We don't always make a whole bunch of sense. 

I wasn't thinking of the effect this whole thing would have on me in the future, though. I was thinking about taking care of Marrick. I think the kid was the only thing that kept me going. We were only together a year, but he meant a lot to me. He had this way of always being able to cheer me up. God...I miss him. 

That brings me to the next part in my story. I hate thinking about it; it's one of those things you wish you could just forget. But I guess it's really where everything started. As horrible a memory as it is, it's how I met Tseng. Maybe I should have just started here, aw...hell, I dunno. Doesn't matter. I guess memories will take you where they will, not where you want them to go. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Yo, Marrick! Let's go!" I shouted. 

Marrick glanced over at me from where he'd been watching a news announcement, then hurried over. "Sorry Reno," he said, looking abashed. "Why're we in such a hurry, anyway?" 

I grinned at him. "You'll see, kiddo. C'mon!" It was Marrick's birthday, and I had a bit of a surprise planned out for him. He was turning eleven, and I'd been saving up for this for a while now. I'd gotten so much food, it could have been a feast, and I'd even gotten him a cake. And I couldn't wait to see his face when he saw his present. Marrick had always seemed to have a fondness for animals, so I'd gotten him a kitten. The creature was barely more then a tiny ball of fluff, and I knew Marrick would be delighted. 

It was gonna be great. 

I was so wrapped up in fantasizing about Marrick's reaction; I didn't even notice the thugs until it was too late. 

I heard Marrick cry out behind me just as someone grabbed my arms and twisted them painfully behind my back. Whoever had a hold on me turned enough so that I could see Marrick was in a similar position. "So," said the thug behind me in a deceptively conversational tone. "You boys got any cash on ya?" 

"No," I ground out, struggling slightly, "So let us go!" 

"Well," said the thug holding Marrick, "that's a shame. How ya supposed to pay the toll if ya ain't got any cash? Nobody passes through our territory without payin' the toll." 

I hadn't heard a thing about anyone claiming this area as their own. If I had, I wouldn't have come this way. "Look," I said, trying to reason with them, "If we'd known it was your territory, we'd have brought some money to pay the proper respect. But we didn't know, so how about lettin' us go, and next time we pass this way, we'll pay double." 

"I dunno," said the one behind me, "whaddya think, bro? Should we let 'em go?" 

"Hmm..." The other looked down at Marrick, who was pale as a ghost, eyes impossibly wide, giving him the impression of a frightened rabbit. "I know how they can pay," he said, a slow grin spreading across his face. Seeing it made my skin crawl. "Never said they had to pay with cash, did we? There are other ways to pay." 

My heart stopped. Fuck! I knew exactly what he meant. "Well, then," I said, praying to the nonexistent gods that they'd listen, "If that's what you're gonna do, then do it to me. He's only a kid." 

The thug cocked his head slightly, considering. He looked from Marrick, to me and back again. "Naw," he said finally, touching Marrick's hair, "I like this one better. I like 'em small and pretty." 

Feeling nauseous, I shook my head. _No! Not Marrick! Not Marrick you fucking sick bastard!_ I screamed silently, struggling against my captor, who only laughed and held me tighter. 

I watched the scene that followed in a kind of silent, numb horror. I'll never forget the sound of Marrick's voice as he cried, alternately begging his captor to stop and calling out to me for help. Help I couldn't give. I could only stand by and watch, and no matter how hard I struggled, I couldn't escape the grasp of the man that held me. 

Then, when he was finished, that damned rapist _bastard_ pulled out a knife and calmly slit Marrick's throat. Took his life like it was nothing. "Can't have the little thing running off and telling on me," he said, looking at me and grinning. "S'pose we'll have to do the same to you." 

His words didn't register. They didn't matter. All that mattered was the black, consuming rage that filled me, blocking out everything but that bastard in front of me. I felt nothing but pure, utter hatred, and a desire to kill so strong it was overwhelming. 

I don't know how I broke free, I don't remember even trying. But suddenly I was on top of him, using that same knife he'd used to kill Marrick, stabbing him over and over, pouring all my rage into that knife. Blood covered my hands, the knife, my clothes. He was dead, but still I kept stabbing, as if somehow by mutilating him I could bring Marrick back. 

I distantly registered the sound of a gunshot, heard the thud of a body falling to the ground. I ignored it. It didn't matter. None of it mattered. All that mattered to me was this stupid, fucking bastard had killed him, raped and killed Marrick. I kept stabbing. 

Then suddenly, strong arms grabbed me and pulled me off of him, and I felt myself held firmly to someone's chest. I struggled, my vision blurring. I felt warm tears sliding down my face. I was crying, I hadn't cried in years. I ignored it, still struggling. 

The arms tightened around me, and a quiet, soothing voice whispered in my ear, "It's alright, everything will be okay. Calm down." The voice kept repeating those words softly, over and over, and surprisingly I actually began to come out of my hysteria. 

I relaxed a little, sagging back against the chest of the person who held me and looked around dully. I saw the guy who had been holding me with a perfect, neat little bullet hole in his forehead, lying in a pool of his own blood. I saw the guy I had attacked, who looked more like a bloody chunk of meat then a person. And Marrick...my stomach turned. He was staring up at the sky, eyes devoid of any life, more like glass beads in the face of a porcelain doll then that of anything living. But then...he wasn't living. Not anymore. 

A half choked sob tore itself from my throat, and I found myself on the verge of crying again. The man holding me loosened his grip and turned me around, tilting my chin up so I'd look at him. I stared at him for a moment, eyes burning with unshed tears. He had dark hair and eyes. Just like Marrick. There was...something, in his eyes, emotions that took me a moment to identify, because I wasn't used to seeing them. Concern. Compassion. Understanding. 

That's what undid me, I think, were his eyes. Because I suddenly threw myself against him, burying my face in his shoulder and sobbing uncontrollably. Me. Reno. Seventeen years old and tough as nails, crying my eyes out on the shoulder of some man I didn't even know. It was almost funny in a sick sorta way. 

I don't know how long we stayed like that, me crying on his shoulder, him just holding me and stroking my hair. I must have cried myself out, and after a while he pulled back a little, so he could look at me. "You're a wreck," he said in that same quiet, gentle voice. "Come on. Lets get you out of here." 

I'm not sure why I followed him; maybe it was because there was nothing else I _could_ do. He led me to his car, even opened the door for me. I hesitated, not because I was scared, but because I didn't want to get his car all bloody, of all things. I know it sounds crazy, but people think about the strangest things when they're upset. My mind couldn't handle the big stuff, so it focused on the little stuff. Like getting his car bloody. 

I was about to say something when he gave me a gentle shove, enough to push me right into the car. I guess he didn't care. He walked around to the driver's side and got in, asking me where I lived. I answered, not wondering why he asked, not caring. 

We were there in no time. Or maybe it took hours. I don't know, I wasn't really aware. I was numb, I couldn't think. Everything seemed so surreal, like a dream or something. He opened the door for me again, so I got out. 

Under ordinary circumstances I might have been embarrassed to let someone like him, in his pressed, expensive looking suit into the shack I called home. But right now I didn't care. The guy could've grown wings and flew away right then, and I don't think I would have cared. 

I opened the door and just stood there. I figured that was it, that the guy had done his good deed and he was going to take off. But he didn't. Instead, he put a hand on my shoulder and asked, "Is there anything here you want to take with you?" 

Take? I wondered for a moment where he was going to take me, and then shrugged the thought away. It didn't matter. I was about to tell him no, when something caught my eye. A little gray fluff ball lying curled up on a pillow, fast asleep. Marrick's kitten. Even still had the bow around her neck. 

Walking over, I scooped up the little kitten, who yawned and mewled at me, staring at me with her huge green eyes. Turning around, I noticed the man smiling slightly. "Is that everything?" 

I nodded, absently stroking the kitten. "Yeah," I said in a voice barely about a whisper. 

The man smiled at me, holding open the door. "Then shall we go?" He asked. 

I looked at him curiously for a moment. "Are you a cop or something?" I asked. 

Following me out the door, he said, "No, I'm not a cop." 

Walking back out to the car, I asked, "What's your name?" 

"Tseng." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Next chapter: Reno has a nervous breakdown, even _more_ not happiness, and a little bit of fluff. ^^


	3. Chapter 3

Well…my, my, my. I _am _going a tad overboard on the Reno angst today, aren't I? Poor thing…I can be so cruel sometimes. ^^ Though…the end of this part. *shakes her head* I am such a sap! Gah…it's almost disgusting. _

Yeesh…for something that was supposed to be a one shot, there's no end in sight! That's okay though, I'm having fun with it. ^_^

Oh! This is how I figure it…since I got one review for chapter one, and two for chapter two, then I _should_ get at least three for this one. *pokes* Review my ficcie! Tell me you love me, stroke my ego, point out any mistakes, flame me…I don't care! This is turning out to be my baby, so give it some attention, ne? *grin*

And one more thing…I have no clue if there's any official information on Tseng and Reno's height and ages, so I'm taking a bit of artistic license. Heh…^^ Don't worry, things get a little less angsty from here on out, and a little more fluffy. Until the end that is. ^_^

Enjoy! Oh…and review! *hopeful puppy dog eyes*

~*~Requiem: Part 3~*~

A sound, a door closing I think, pulled me unwillingly from the comfortable arms of oblivion. I just lay there for a moment; mind trying to convince my body to go back to sleep, but it wouldn't listen. Fuck. Why'd I have to be such a god damned light sleeper?

I felt like hell, to say the least. Every muscle in my body ached, my eyes were sore, and my head was pounding. I really did not want to have to wake up and face the world right now. I really didn't.

After a moment, I realized there was a slight weight on my neck, and it was...vibrating? Eyes sliding open, I reached out and grabbed the thing on my neck, holding it up so I could see. Staring back at me drowsily was a little gray kitten; still purring it's little heart out. I stared at it for a moment, not quite sure where it came from. Then it struck me.

Marrick's kitten.

Suddenly the half remembered events came rushing back in a flood. Birthday. Marrick. The thugs. And then...oh god. Heart constricting painfully at the memory, I curled up on my side, pulling my knees up to my chest and screwed my eyes shut, trying to block out the memory. _No, no....nononononono...._That one word kept repeating in my head over and over.

Dead. He couldn't be dead. He was just a kid. A kid for Christ's sake! I must be going crazy. Yeah, that's it. I'm a fucking nutcase. Because when I open my eyes, he's gonna be right there like he always is, curled up and fast asleep.

An image flashed into my mind. That of Marrick, eyes dull and glassy in death, staring up at the night sky, unseeing. He was pale, like a ghost...except for the bright splash of color on his neck and chest, a thick, dark red, oozing out of the gaping wound in his throat. 

I shuddered, forcing the image away. It wasn't like I'd never seen death before. I'd seen a lot of it. So much in fact, that it didn't faze me anymore. But this was different, seeing the only other person I'd ever cared about die in front of my own eyes. I should have been able to help him. Should have been able to save him. I never should have taken that way home. It was my fault, my fault that he was dead. I should be dead, not him. Or I should have died there with him.

"Are you awake?" A voice asked softly. I tried to shut it out, ignore it, but something about that voice was so familiar. After a moment it struck me. The man, Tseng.

I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He was standing over the bed, looking at me. We stared at each other for a moment, and I got the impression that he was looking for something. Whatever he saw, he obviously didn't like because he frowned slightly, shaking his head.

Sitting down on the foot of the bed, he asked, "How do you feel?"

I know it was rude, but I actually laughed, a short, bitter sound. "How do you think I feel?" I asked.

Tseng just stared at me again for a long moment before answering. "Not too good I'd imagine."

"Yeah," I said dully, not feeling like talking. Not feeling like doing much of anything. "Not too good pretty much covers it."

Tseng looked like he was about to say something more when the door opened, and a guy with a shaggy head of brown hair poked his head in. "Hey, Tseng..." he trailed off on seeing Reno. "Oh. Uh, well," he said, looking rather abashed, "Deia sent me to come get you. She needs you down at headquarters. Apparently the bigwigs are being assholes again." He shrugged apologetically.

Tseng sighed, standing up. "Duty calls," he said. Casting a glance at me, which I studiously ignored, he said to his friend, coworker, whatever, "Keep an eye on him till I get back, alright? This shouldn't take long."

"Sure thing, boss." The guy replied, and then Tseng was gone.

He grinned at me, giving me the impression that he was one of those people who were always cheerful. "You're lucky, kid. Tseng's a great guy, got a soft spot a mile wide for strays. Never thought he'd bring one home-" he stopped talking suddenly, looking embarrassed, and I realized he thought he'd insulted me.

"Don't worry," I said quietly, looking directly at him for the first time, "I'm about as stray as a person can get." With that I laid my head back down, trying desperately to escape back into the comforting oblivion of sleep.

I'm not sure how long it took me, but I do remember Tseng returning just as I was drifting off, and the other man's voice, low and sad, saying, "You're going to have your hands full with this one, Tseng. This kid is more then just a stray...he's a lost soul."

With those words ringing in my ears, I fell back into a restless slumber. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

__

I spent the next few days in a fog, and strangely, I didn't dream. Everything was gray. I was wrapped in a shroud of darkness that I couldn't seem to shake, nothing interested me. I wanted only to sleep. I wanted that warm, comforting oblivion. I craved the darkness, craved the freedom from my own dark, haunting thoughts. 

The only thing I really remember from those days is Tseng. There were others, but they were nothing to me but brief flashes of movement and sound, acknowledged only as an interruption to the darkness. He was the only thing that could seem to call be back to reality, brief as those instances were. For some reason, it was Tseng that grounded me, kept me from losing my mind. I think I hated him for that. Hated him for being a brightness in the dark, for pulling me back time and again into the world, into a life that I did _not_ want to live.

And yet, as much as I loathed it, every time he tried to gently coax me out of sleep, I answered. I remember him rousing me time and again to feed me, like some sort of invalid. Which I suppose I was in a manner of speaking. I remember him talking to me, though I don't remember the words. Once I even woke to find him sitting on my bed, stroking my hair and regarding me like a worried father would his sick child.

And I remember talking to him, once, in a surprising moment of lucidity. He was sitting by my bedside, arms crossed over his chest and head drooping in a light doze. I just watched him sleep for a moment, oddly entranced. His usually immaculate suit was rumpled; the worry and strain usually evident in his features were smoothed away in repose. Coupled with the way his hair fell over his face, it made him look so young and innocent...almost childlike. 

I contented myself with watching the steady rise and fall of his chest for a few minutes before I spoke. "Why?" I asked, voice barely more then a whisper.

It appeared to be enough, however, when Tseng's head snapped up. He looked startled. "What?"

Eyes locked on the older man, I asked again, "Why?"

Brow creasing in confusion, Tseng returned, "Why what?"

I sighed. "Why..." I paused briefly, trying to find the words. "Why are you being so..._nice?_ I'm nothing. Just a street kid. Shit like..." here my voice cracked a little, "that...happens all the time. So why? Why should what happens to me matter to you? Why didn't you just leave me there...let that other thug kill me. Why'd you shoot him? Why rescue me?" I rubbed my eyes tiredly, not too happy with the way I was coming across, but not really caring. "I just don't understand."

Tseng's expression changed from that of confusion to one of thoughtfulness. "In part, because I was angry. It makes me angry to think people like that exist. I stumbled across that scene too late to save your friend...I wasn't going to let you die as well. I wasn't going to stand by and watch another innocent life be wasted."

I laughed, a hoarse, choked sound. "If _that's_ why, you wasted your time. I'm no innocent."

Looking me over appraisingly, he shrugged. "Perhaps not innocent in all respects, no. But neither have you been completely jaded, I think." He shook his head. "Besides, you didn't let me finish. I felt compelled to. It was instinct, and I followed it."

"Then...why _this?_" I asked, "Why not have dropped me off at home to rot? Or is this some kind of instinct too?" I knew I was coming off sarcastic, but it just didn't make a damned bit of sense. Why did the man feel obligated to take care of me? Anyone would have considered saving my skin good enough. But then again, I was beginning to think this man was a bit different from the people I'd met before.

He smiled then, to my surprise. "Because I like you. You need time to heal, and sometimes people can't do that alone. You've taken care of yourself all your life, Reno. Be content to hand the reins to someone else for a while."

I blinked at him in surprise. How did he know my name? I didn't recall telling him. Not that it mattered I supposed...but still. It was a bit unsettling.

Tseng leaned over then, brushing my hair back and resting a hand on my forehead. "You're still feverish." he said, frowning. "Rest now. We'll talk again when you're feeling better."

I almost protested, but my body made it's weariness known, and after a moment I settled down, content for the time being to return to the welcoming embrace of darkness.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

All of a sudden, four or five days after my arrival, I couldn't be sure, I...woke up. That's the best word to describe it. The comforting fog I'd been living in vanished, and I was thrown violently and painfully back into the real world. And I wasn't happy about it. Not in the least.

Sometimes I think Tseng must have had the patience of a fucking _saint_ to put up with me during that time. I was angry, sullen, and in a depression so black that it nearly consumed me. And yet, everyday, he was there. Talking to me in that gentle voice of his, making sure I ate, a hundred other tiny things, all for me. He was always there, except for the times he was called away for his job, whatever that might be. He was never gone long, but the first time he left, it couldn't have been for more then twenty minutes, I snapped.

I didn't even notice at first, then after a few minutes the oppressive silence, the _emptiness_ began to close in on me. For the first time since Marrick's death, I was alone. And I _panicked. _Irrational fear choking me, I curled up and pulled my knees to my chest, shaking violently, body wracked by sobs.

That's how he found me when he returned, panicked and hysterical. I latched onto him, clinging with all my strength; terrified he'd leave me again. He just held me, whispering comforting nonsense in my ear. Even then, it took me nearly an hour to calm back down. After that, he never left me alone again. If his work took him away, he always made sure someone stayed with me. Usually the guy with shaggy brown hair, Eric was his name.

But for all his attentiveness, his gentle presence and uncomplaining care, I never really got better. Oh, the sickness faded soon enough, but nothing could pull me out of my pit of self-loathing and guilt. I remember spending most of my time lying in bed, thinking about Marrick. He was all my guilt would let me think about.

One day, about two weeks after his death, is when I finally lost it. When I finally let the guilt overwhelm me.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I lay in bed, staring blankly out the window, unseeing, not caring. Marrick's kitten lay curled up on my neck again, the soft vibrating rhythm of her purr almost hypnotic. Unbidden, it came again, the image so firmly imprinted in my mind I doubted it would ever go away. Marrick, bleeding his life away, staring at him in those last few seconds, silently begging for help. Crying. Tears spilling out of wide, frightened eyes. Pain. God...but his pain and fear were like a tangible thing, reaching out and strangling me. 

It should have been _me!_ It should have been me they killed, and Marrick that Tseng rescued. He deserved life far more then I did, he was young, innocent, sweet and thoughtful. He was just a _child! _It was some sort of cruel joke. I was nobody, my life had already gone to hell, there was nothing to salvage. But _he_, he had a chance, he still could have been happy given the opportunity.

It wasn't _fucking _fair! More then that, it wasn't _right. _The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. Why should I get to live when Marrick died? I am nothing; I have no purpose, no reason for existing. I'm nothing more then a scar on the face of humanity, a blemish, something best removed.

It struck me then, the answer so simple I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it before. Why should Marrick be alone? Since, by some cruel twist of fate, he had died, then I should have died with him. I hadn't, but that was something easily solved.

Purpose clear now, I gently pulled the kitten off my neck. She mewled in protest as I set her down on the blanket, but quickly fell back asleep. I got out of bed, moving to the door with a sense of single-minded determination. Peering out into the hall, I checked to be certain Tseng was asleep. It was past midnight, and his door was shut tight. There wasn't a sound in the house aside from my own breathing.

Perfect.

Sneaking past Tseng's door as quietly as I could manage, I made my way into the kitchen. It was neat, spotless. It almost made me feel guilty for what I was about to do, but not enough to deter me. A moment of digging around in drawers produced a knife. Settling down on the floor and leaning back against a cupboard, I regarded the knife in my hand silently. Such a small and simple thing. I couldn't believe hadn't thought of it before. _I'm coming Marrick. I'm sorry I let you down, I'm sorry I broke my promise. I'll never leave you again, I swear. _

I slashed one wrist, studiously ignoring the sharp pain, and was about to slash the other when I found myself staring at the business end of a gun. I stared at it dully, gaze drifting from the gun to its owner. Tseng stood, legs apart, pointing the gun at me unwaveringly. Only half dressed in a pair of baggy pajama pants, long hair falling in his face, I got the strange impression that he looked almost...cute. Until I looked in his eyes. His face was expressionless, normally warm eyes hard chips of cold steel.

We stared at each other like that for a moment, and I was struck with the absurd urge to laugh. Here I was, trying to kill myself, and Tseng pops up pointing a gun at my head. In his _jammies_ no less. It was completely fucking ridiculous.

Then his eyes flickered, the cold fading as he realized I was no prowler, and widening slightly as he took in the situation._ I always thought people died faster from this sort of thing. _The thought flickered through my mind as I stared at my bleeding wrist.

My eyes met his, and for a moment I could almost see my dull, desolate expression mirrored in his own. And then he moved, so quickly that in my weakened state I couldn't even follow. He hauled me to my feet by my uninjured wrist, grabbing a towel and wrapping it firmly around the bleeding one. 

I shook my head, about to tell him to leave me be, when his eyes caught mine. Fear, worry and anger warring in the black depths, I could only stare at him, not understanding why he would care.

His gaze shifted from mine to my wrist. "Reno..." he said, voice cracking slightly.

Feeling my walls of calm insanity breaking down, I tried to explain...tried to make him understand why he needed to leave me be, why I needed to do this. "I..." I swallowed hard, trying again, "I can't...I didn't save him...he needed me, and...I, I let him down." I felt the beginning of tears burning in my eyes. "It should have been me, don't you understand? Not him...he didn't deserve it..."

"And neither do you!" Tseng countered in a fierce whisper.

"Yes, I do!" It only added to my increasing frustration as tears began to flow down my face. Why couldn't he _fucking _understand? "I'm _nothing!" _I hissed, "I'm garbage. What point is there in me living? He could have been something! Could have had a life! But...because of me..." 

"No!" Tseng interrupted. "Not because of you! Can't you understand that, Reno? It's Not. Your. Fault. His death was through no fault of yours, and you _don't_ need to follow him!"

"But...I..." I was shaking now, quaking harder then a leaf in the wind. I felt lost, so completely lost. Tseng was the only thing helping me keep my grip on reality. "How...how can I...live? Life before him wasn't life...it was just...existing. I don't want that...I'd rather die...I..." I stared up at him now, eyes blurred with tears. I couldn't remember crying so much in all my life. "I don't want to be alone again."

Suddenly his arms were around me, holding me close, tucking my head into the crook of his neck. He was silent for a moment, holding me tightly, and I realized that he was shaking. 

"I won't let you be alone again. Ever." His voice sounded choked, as if he were on the verge of tears himself. "I promise."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Next chapter: Tseng makes a proposal, Reno accepts, Rude makes his entrance, and Reno pisses off Heidegger. ^_^


	4. Chapter 4

*grumbles irritably* Just as I get all these notes written out, the program dies and I have to do it all over again! Argh! *kicks her computer*

Ahem. Anyhoo, here 'tis! Part four! *huggles everyone who's reviewed her fic so far* Thank you! I love you forever! ^______^

Hm…it seems that I lied. It doesn't get fluffy in this part….it might not even get fluffy till part six. ^^; At the rate I'm going, this is the fic that will never end. Heh…

I also think I should probably get off my lazy butt and start playing the game again. It's been ages since I last played, and since the fic is going to be wandering into the realm of game time soon, I need to know what I'm doing. Even _I_ can't bullshit _that_ well. ^^;

Enjoy!

~*~Requiem: Part 4~*~

"You're a _what?_" I asked incredulously, not quite believing.

"Turk." Tseng repeated in answer to my earlier question. "The Turks are-"

"I _know_ what they are," I interrupted, "I'm just having a hard time believing you, of all people, are a _Turk._" I quirked a smile. "Somehow you just don't strike me as a cold, ruthless assassin. Or a spy. Or anything like that. Hell, I'd be less surprised to find out you were a fucking teddy bear!"

Tseng's lips twitched up into a smile at that. "You asked, I answered. Besides, it's not as if we run around killing people all the time. It's part of the job, but not all of it."

I raised an eyebrow at him. He sounded almost defensive. Like he had to justify his job to me. I resisted the urge to snort. "Listen, I don't have a problem with you being a Turk. Just surprised is all. You just seem too damned _nice_ to do that sort of thing." I eyed him suspiciously, "You sure you don't work in…I dunno, a flower shop or something? Or maybe a church?"

Tseng laughed, and I couldn't help but smile. Okay, so the thought of him being a priest _was_ a little ridiculous. But a Turk? I suddenly flashed on the way he'd been…that night…when he'd held the gun on me, before he realized who I was. I remembered those cold, emotionless eyes. Okay, maybe it wasn't so hard to believe after all.

I paused in my thoughts, realizing Tseng was pinning me with a rather thoughtful look. After a few minutes, I began to squirm slightly under that stare, and finally gave in to my curiosity. "What!?" I huffed in exasperation, "You're looking at me like I grew another fucking head or something!"

Looking amused, Tseng simply shrugged and said, "I was just thinking."

"About?" I asked impatiently, resisting the urge to throw something at the irritating man.

Amusement fading, Tseng pinned me again with a serious stare. It was a long moment before he spoke. "Reno, what would you say if I asked you to join the Turks?"

I stared at him incredulously, not quite believing my ears. _Tseng _had just asked _me _to become a Turk? Me, a scrawny little nobody, become a Turk? The organization was practically famous! Or, I conceded with a small grin, perhaps infamous would be a better word.

"I think you'd do quite well." Tseng continued, "You have a sharp intellect, one of the most important attributes of a Turk, and any skills you lack can be easily rectified with a bit of training. And, more importantly, I don't think you'd have a problem with the pressure." He sighed, "We've had more then one of our people crack under the strain, but somehow I don't think the pressures of the job will affect you overly much."

I grinned, still not quite believing what I was hearing. "The first few weeks you knew me, I was fucking loopy." I tapped the side of my head meaningfully, "Abso-fucking-lutely crazy. And you think I won't crack?" I laughed, "No offense, but you must either be stupid or blind."

To my surprise, Tseng just smiled and shook his head. "That incident aside, when before that did you ever lose control? In all these years, did the strain of living the life you were forced into ever make you snap?"

I blinked, not quite sure if he was serious about this whole Turk thing or not. It just didn't seem believable. "No, not really. I just shrugged all the shit off. Dealt with it and moved on."

"Do you trust my judgment?" He asked.

"At this point, I'm not so sure…" I muttered, but when he continued to regard me seriously, I sighed. "Yeah, I trust you." 

Again, he smiled, and merely asked, "Will you become a Turk? Or at least consider it? It wouldn't be fair of me to force you into an answer without letting you think it-"

"I'll do it." I interrupted. I did that a lot. I'm surprised he hadn't slapped me upside the head for it by now.

Tseng stared at me, surprise plain. "Are you sure? Shouldn't you give it a little more consideration?"

I shrugged, enjoying his surprise. "What's there to consider? I trust you, and it ain't like I got anything in the way of other options. Unless you _like_ having me sit on my butt in your house all day…"

He chuckled at that, shaking his head. "Very decisive, aren't you?"

I grinned at him. "Why not? The only thing a few days of considering would do is give me more time to second guess myself."

"I suppose that's true," Tseng agreed, still looking amused. 

In truth, there was another reason entirely for me taking up his offer. Hell, don't get me wrong, the thought of the money, notoriety, and power were plenty in themselves, but the main reason I agreed was because of Tseng. I knew I couldn't stay here forever. If I didn't join the Turks, eventually I'd have to move on, leave. Try to scrape together the sad remnants of my life and do…something. Despite Tseng's promise, I'd be alone again.

The thought sent a small shiver of fear up my spine, and I shook it off. I wasn't stupid. I was honest enough with myself to admit I'd latched onto him, that somewhere in the brief time we'd known each other I'd turned him into my source of strength. I needed him, and I needed him desperately. I knew it wasn't exactly what you'd call 'healthy', but that was simply the way it was. At this point the was my center, and if being a Turk allowed me to remain near him, then that was all that mattered.

I made a mental cringe of disgust. That made me sound so fucking pathetic it wasn't even funny. Just…sad.

"Well, then," Tseng said, interrupting my thoughts, "When do you feel up to starting your training?"

"Soon as possible, I guess," I replied, grinning, "'Sides, no point in waiting around, is there? Sooner I start training, the sooner I can do something besides sit on my butt, watch TV, and eat." I put a hand on my stomach, assuming a look of girlish disgust. "Will you _look_ at this!?" I demanded, "I'm a _blimp!_ Why, I must've gained a pound! Did you hear me? I said a pound, a whole _pound!" _ I put a hand to my head dramatically, pretending to faint. Fighting off a grin, I cracked an eye open to judge Tseng's reaction to my melodramatic outburst.

Tseng was regarding me with his head cocked to the side, one eyebrow raised. And from the look of it, he was trying to fight off a grin of his own. _Good._ I thought in satisfaction. As nice a guy as Tseng was, he didn't laugh nearly enough. It gave me warm feeling to see him smile. Especially when _I_ was the cause.

He coughed. "Well," he said, amusement plain in his voice, "I for one think you could stand to gain more then a pound. Are you sure you've been eating at all?"

I snorted, sitting up. "Yeah, yeah. Pick on the skinny guy. It ain't _my_ fault I'm not built like a tank." I looked him over appraisingly, "That's like the pot talking to the kettle. You aren't all that big yourself." I pointed out. 

Okay, so Tseng was bigger then me, and definitely more muscular, but he wasn't _big_, not like some guys I'd seen. Though, he did have a point. I grimaced slightly. I was far from what you'd call big, in fact I was downright slender. Which wouldn't be so bad, but guys aren't supposed to be slender. Girls are slender, not guys. _I hate my life…_ I thought irritably.

Standing up, Tseng cast me another one of his amused glances. "Whatever you say, Reno. Though I expect if you took off your shirt, I'd be able to see your ribs."

"Fuck off, you irritating old bastard." I grinned again, showing I wasn't really angry.

"You started it," Tseng pointed out with unfailing logic.

I stuck out my tongue in a burst of childishness. "Didn't I tell you to fuck off?"

Tseng raised an eyebrow, and I couldn't tell if it was because of my childish behavior or bad language. Probably both. I probably cussed more in one sentence then he had in his entire life. "As you wish. I was planning on going and talking to Deia about putting you in the training program. I believe we have one or two others about to start in a week or so." He turned to go, then paused, looking back at me, "I'm not sure when I'm going to be back…will you be alright?"

I smiled, strangely touched by his concern. "Of course! I'll be fine. Get outta here Mr. Big Tough Turk. I'll just watch your TV, eat your food and gain more weight."

He smiled, nodded, and then he was gone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, an idiotic grin on my face. "You, my dear Reno," I said to my reflection, "are one handsome devil." Looking myself over critically, my smile faded. Something about the man in the mirror just did not look _right._ I stared a bit more, trying to figure out what was wrong.

I'd just finished my six-month long training course, earning the title of Turk, along with the trademark suit. Clean and pressed, the suit was what I now wore. I looked like I'd just stepped out of the pages of Businessman Monthly or something.

I paused in my thoughts, slapping my forehead when I realized the problem. Of course! I looked like some sort of little Tseng clone or something. How disgusting. Don't get me wrong; much as I liked Tseng, the man was just too damned neat for his own good. Unbuttoning the jacket, I untucked the white shirt underneath, pulled off the tie, and unbuttoned the first few buttons on the white shirt for good measure.

I smiled at my reflection. Much better. Still…there was something missing. Glancing down at the table, my grin widened as I picked up the pair of sunglasses lying there, putting them back on their accustomed place on the top of my head.

Perfect.

Now I was ready to haul my little butt down to headquarters. I snorted. It fucking figured that my first day on the job I'd have to sit through a meeting listening to Heidegger, whom I'd never met, but already didn't like, ramble on about god knows what. All I knew was that everyone detested the meetings, and hated Heidegger even more.

I smirked slightly. It didn't matter. If it was too boring, I'd sleep. Or find something else to amuse myself. I might have to attend, but nobody ever said I had to listen. 

Whistling to myself, I looked over myself in the mirror once more, then turned and vanished out the door. 

I arrived at headquarters a few minutes later, still whistling. Deia, former Turk turned receptionist smiled at me when I walked in the door. "Well, hello there Reno. You look like you're in a good mood today." 

Leaning over the desk, I kissed her on the cheek and favored her with my most dazzling smile. "Of course! Now that I've seen your lovely face, how could I be anything other than wonderful?"

She just shook her head and smiled, used to my flirting. In reality, she was pushing forty, and probably old enough to be my mother. I wasn't lying when I said she was pretty though. Considering how pretty she was now, she was probably a knockout twenty years ago.

Besides, I got a kind of double pleasure from flirting with her. First of all, it seemed to amuse her to no end, and I know she felt a bit flattered, no matter what she said. The second was her husband. The man seemed to think I was out to steal his wife from him; and he _hated_ me. Which was a source of never-ending amusement for me. He was so damned fun to provoke. Too bad he wasn't around now.

"Reno."

I turned around to see Rude standing behind me. I'd met him during the training course; he'd been one of the others to go through _that_ nightmare with me. He was big as a house and didn't talk much. About as opposite from me as you could get. But somehow the big guy and I had formed a friendship over the past few months, and were now damned near inseparable.

His suit, I noticed with a grin, was every bit as immaculate as Tseng's. I shook my head. They were _both_ crazy. "Hey!" I greeted, "So Rude, how does it feel to finally be a Turk?"

He stared at me silently for a moment, and then shrugged. "The same as it felt before."

Letting out a long-suffering sigh, I just shook my head. "Sometimes I wonder about you, man. I really do."

"The meeting's going to start soon." He pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah." I waved a hand dismissively. "That Heidegger asshole can stick it up his-"

"A Turk for less then a day, and you're already cursing Heidegger." Interrupted a voice tinged with amusement.

Oh, hell. People certainly did like sneaking up on me today, didn't they? I turned around to see Tseng and Eric, the latter grinning from ear to ear. "Hmm…" he said, "I think he'll fit in just fine, don't you, Tseng?"

Tseng made a noise of agreement, raising his eyebrows slightly as he took in my less then professional appearance. I half expected him to comment, but all he said was, "Well, _I_ for one certainly don't want to have to listen to that old mule rant and rave, so I think it would be in our best interests if we weren't late."

Still grinning, Eric nodded and glanced at Rude and I, "I think it would be best to listen to the boss man, don't you?" He hopped down from where he'd been perched on Deia's desk, and disappeared through the door. Tseng followed suit, and glancing back to check and make sure Rude was coming, I did the same.

I looked around curiously as we walked. I'd only been back here once or twice, seeing as non -Turks technically weren't allowed. Went against regulations or some sort of crap like that. Taking note of the route to the conference hall so I'd be able to get there on my own next time, I followed Tseng and Eric, feeling almost eager. At the very worst, I'd still be able to make fun of Heidegger afterwards. 

The conference room consisted of a large rectangular table, a large television nearly dominating one of the walls, and a whole scattering of papers, charts and various other things. Right now the table was nearly filled with Turks, some I recognized, some I didn't. 

Plunking down in one of the empty seats, I propped my legs up on the table, waiting for this Heidegger jerk to show.

Becoming aware of someone staring at me, I glanced over to my right to see a pretty little brunette girl studying me curiously. She was one of the ones I didn't recognize. Blushing when she realized she'd been caught staring, she extended a hand. "Hi," she said almost shyly, "My name's Maya. I don't think I've seen you before, are you new?"

Taking her extended hand, I replied, "I don't think we've met either, I'd be sure to remember meeting a lady as beautiful as you." She blushed, and I smiled in satisfaction. "Yeah, I'm new. Just out of the training program. Name's Reno."

__

That caught her attention. She gaped at me. "_You're _Reno?" 

Raising an eyebrow, I said. "Yeah, I'm Reno. I take it you've heard of me or something?" I was surprised and a little confused by her reaction.

If possible, she only blushed darker. "I-I'm sorry. It's just that you're…almost famous around here." _That _caught my attention. Me? Famous? "Well," she continued on seeing my surprise, "It's just that according to rumor, you're something of a prodigy. Donovan couldn't stop talking about how quickly you caught on to everything he taught you."

I stared at her in disbelief. Donovan, the man who had trained me, _hated_ me. I'm talking kill you in your sleep and dance on your grave kinda hate. I was a fast learner, sure, but hardly a prodigy, and if Donovan couldn't stop talking about me, it'd be about how much he hates me. Certainly not to praise me. "Are you sure?" I asked, "I mean, maybe you're thinking Rude? Four letter name, starts with an R…cuz you sure as hell couldn't be talking about me. Donovan _hates _me."

She shook her head, smiling. "No, he was talking about you. Not to mention how fond Tseng is of you. Don't misunderstand, Tseng is the best leader we could ever ask for, and he likes most of us just fine. Its just…" she shrugged. "Never mind. It just says a lot about you, is all."

I was about to ask her more when the door opened with a bang. And judging from the not-so-thrilled expression on everyone's face, I had to guess that the fat man in the doorway was Heidegger. I regarded him curiously as everyone scrambled for their seats. Didn't see what was so great about the guy that he'd be head of the Turks. Instinct told me flat out that Tseng should definitely be the one in that position, not Mr. Fatso. Okay, not terribly original, I know, but you have to admit, it's fitting. 

He lumbered over to the head of the table, where he surveyed everyone with a critical eye. His gaze stopped on me, and he glared at my feet, which were still propped on the table. Heidegger shot me a meaningful look, and couldn't have been any clearer if he'd flat out told me to get my goddamned feet off the table. I simply smiled at him, wiggling my fingers in his direction in a little wave, and kept my feet where they were.

Heh. Reno: 1, Fatso: 0.

He just glared at me for a moment longer, turning so red I could almost see the steam coming out his ears, before turning back to the rest of the room and beginning the meeting. I had the feeling that this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Trying to keep the smirk off my face, I settled myself more comfortably.

I only listened to the meeting with half an ear. It was mostly politics, which didn't even pertain to me, and on top of that it was incredibly _dull_ politics. I was in serious danger of dozing off toward the end of the meeting, when something Heidegger said caught my interest.

"Before we wrap things up, I have another order of business to discuss. President Shinra has been receiving threatening letters recently, as I'm sure some of you have heard." There were a few nods around the table, "Naturally, we've increased security, but the president wants this person stopped. The letters have been getting more frequent, and more threatening as time goes on. The man seems to have some sort of personal vendetta." 

"Tseng, I'll leave it in your hands to decide who the job goes to." Tseng nodded. "You'll be supplied with the letters, as well as anything else you'll require. The president wants this man dead before the week is out, understood?" Again, there were more nods.

"Good." 

At that point, I heard the most frightening thing I've ever been subjected to in my life. Heidegger laughed. There were a few winces, and even Rude looked rather taken aback. And for Rude, that's saying a lot. As for myself, I nearly fell out of my chair, and it took all my willpower to resist covering my ears. I've never heard such a fucking _horrible_ sound. 

After Heidegger had left and everyone was discussing the mission, I cleared my throat, getting everyone's attention. "I have a suggestion." I said, smirking. When Tseng gestured for me to continue, I shrugged and said, "If we want this guy dead so bad, why don't we just send Heidegger and make him laugh the guy to death? I mean, sometimes people survive a bullet, but _no_ _one _could survive that."

That got a laugh out of nearly everyone, even Tseng. "Be that as it may," said the dark haired Turk, smiling slightly, "I doubt Heidegger would appreciate the sentiment."

I just grinned and shrugged, "Just a suggestion."

"I think you've broken some sort of record," said a voice to my right.

Looking over at Maya, I asked, "And what record would that be?"

She laughed. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone make Heidegger so mad that fast." She shot me a serious look, "I'd be careful. Heidegger can make your life hell if he wants to. It's not a good idea to make an enemy of him."

I shrugged and smiled cheekily. "He's welcome to try if he wants to. I'll let you in on a secret…I don't like him either."

Maya shot me an odd look, "You're a strange one, Reno." 

"So I've been told."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Reno."

I glanced over my shoulder to see Tseng following me out of the conference room. "Yessir?"

"How would you like to take the assignment?" He asked.

I blinked at him. He had to be joking, right? Taking in his serious expression, I realized he wasn't. "You'd trust this to me?"

He nodded. "I want you and Rude to work on this together, actually. I _could_ give it to someone else, but you two both need the experience, and I think you'll do just fine." He smiled, "You're certainly smart enough to be able to figure out this little puzzle."

"Huh." I said, still surprised. "Well, you're the boss, if you think that we can handle it, then we can handle it. You talk to Rude yet?

Tseng nodded. "He's already agreed."

"Well, then," I said, with my trademark grin, "I guess it's already been decided. When do we start?"

"As soon as you feel up to it," Tseng replied, smiling slightly.

"Better now then later, I think. Wouldn't do to have the president turn up dead on us, now would it?" I swept him a courtly bow, glancing up at him and winking. "You can consider the job as good as done." With that, I straightened up and went of in search of my buddy.

I couldn't help but smile, thinking of Tseng's confidence in my abilities. I was willing to do anything to deserve that confidence, anything to keep him from regretting his decision to keep me around, anything to keep him from being disappointed.

I'd do this job right if it killed me.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Next chapter: Rude and Reno's first mission, Rude gets a haircut, and everyone's favorite redhead discovers the joys of alcohol. ^_^

And one more thing…see that button? *points down* The one on the left? No, no. Not the little link, the *button*. Yes, that's the one. Push it. Yes…that's right, you know you want to…good reader. ^_____^


	5. Chapter 5

Reno: *dances* I'm gonna get some booooooooty, I'm gonna get some booooooooty….

*glances at Reno and sighs in exasperation* If you weren't so damned cute…

Anyway…I is confuzzled. *points at her ficcie* Does it have ugly baby syndrome? I mean, here I am, prancing around and showing it off like a proud parent, and yet, hardly any reviews. O.o So, is it really just kinda bad, and I'm too blind to see it? I don't get it. *scratches her head in confusion* I mean, I've seen _terrible_ fics with more reviews. And I know it's not _that_ bad. Boring then? Hell, I'll be happy if someone writes me just to tell me what's _wrong_ with it. *cradles her bruised ego*

Ah, well. Nothing for it I suppose! This is for you Starla, Scarlet, Naturesbungle and Lady Temperance! Enjoy! ^_^

Reno: I'm gonna get some booooooty, I'm gonna get some- *WHACK* Ouchie…;_; 

~*~Requiem: Part 5~*~

I glared down at the letters scattered on the table in front of me, so frustrated I wanted to grab something and strangle it. "Nothing. Not one goddamned _fucking_ clue! Nothing! For all we know, fucking Rufus could be sending these letters!"

Rude glance up from where he was studying one of the letters. Bastard looked calm as a fucking cucumber. "Somehow I doubt that."

"I was being _sarcastic, _you stupid bastard." I growled. Rude just shrugged and went back to perusing the letter. Sometimes I think the only reason Rude and I were friends was because he never took my fits of temper seriously. Anyone else would have been so pissed at me by now, they'd probably have shot me just to shut me up.

Rubbing the bridge of my nose and blinking tiredly, I grabbed the nearest letter and began to read. Not really harboring any hope of finding anything new, I did it just because I lacked anything better to do.

__

Are you afraid of me now? Well, Mr. President? Or do you still think you're safe, hiding in your rooms, behind closed doors and surrounded by guards? 

Laughable.

Nothing can keep me from you. Nothing can prevent me the pleasure of tearing out your throat, of making you suffer before you die. You destroyed me, and because of that, I am yours. I live for you, breathe for you. My only purpose is for you.

I hate you for that, and once you're dead, my life will be my own again.

Soon, Mr. President. Very soon, your life will be mine. I'll bathe my hands in your blood, dance on your grave. I will howl my pleasure to the night sky, I will sing of you. Of your death, of my freedom.

Soon.

"Well," I said, giving up my frustration in favor of weariness, "You gotta give the guy some credit. He's almost poetic in a morbid kinda way. Obsessed, and mad as a fucking hatter, but poetic."

"Fanatics are the hardest kind of people to stop." Rude replied quietly, "They aren't rational, and will do things no sane person would ever consider. That makes them very, very dangerous."

I stared at Rude in surprise. I think that's the most I ever heard him say in one breath. After a moment, I nodded in agreement. "You got that right."

I stared at the paper in my hands and sighed, unable to think of anything else to look for. The paper was normal, everyday typing paper. Hell, the letter wasn't even handwritten! It was typed, so they didn't even have that to go on. Sighing again, I set the letter down and was about to rake my fingers through my hair when something caught my eye.

Looking more closely, I notice my fingertips were coated in a fine, white powder. Hell, the stuff was so hard to see, that if I tilted my hand so the light didn't reflect anymore, it was invisible. Lifting a finger to my nose, I sniffed experimentally, eyes widening at the sharp, acrid odor. I knew that smell. Grinning slightly, I looked at Rude. "Hey, Rude, ever heard of white bliss?"

He looked up at me, frowning slightly as he thought. "It's…a drug isn't it?"

I nodded, grinning from ear to ear. I had to resist the urge to get up and dance. "Yeah, and it's pretty hard to come by, too. Costs a small fortune, and it's addictive as hell. It's what keeps most of the whores in the slums whores. It's the only way for them to make enough cash to support the habit."

Rude shook his head, looking confused. "I don't see what that has to do with anything."

"Oh, nothing much," I said, unable to keep the superior smirk of my face, "Just that there happens to be traces of it on this letter here…" His eyes widened slightly at that, and he looked almost excited. Well, as excited as Rude ever looked. Apparently poor Rude had been getting a bit discouraged too. "And it just so happens," I continued, "that I know a dealer. And I also know that they keep very good track of their customers."

Rude's eyes narrowed, and he pinned me with a disapproving stare. "How is it that you happen to know a dealer?"

I was confused at first, until I realized what he was implying. "I don't do that shit," I snapped, a little hurt. "It's just that living in the slums, having people like that for friends is better than having them for enemies."

He had the grace to look ashamed, "I'm sorry Reno, it's just that…well…" He shrugged.

I sighed. "I know, I know. Just trust me when I say I don't do that shit, and I never have. Okay?"

Rude nodded. "So, when do we go see this friend of yours?"

I glanced at the clock and winced. It was already after one. "Well, not tonight. If I woke him up this late, he'd string me up by my own guts. We'll have to wait till tomorrow."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Looking up at the apartment building, I almost felt nostalgic. It was nice, nice as any place in the slums could be anyway. Rude followed, silent as a shadow as I went inside and straight to Mason's apartment. I didn't even bother to knock, just opened the door and went right in. Mason was used to that, he had people coming and going out of his place all the time.

"I'm in here." Mason's voice drifted out of his workroom.

I poked my head in, grinning stupidly. "Hey there."

Head snapping up at the sound of my voice, Mason's eyes were wide as saucers. "Reno?" He asked in a disbelieving voice.

"In the flesh." I replied, enjoying his surprise.

He just stared as I stepped into the room, Rude following silently. Quick as a flash, he was out of his chair and hugging me, and I returned the embrace, stupid grin still on my face. Holding me at arms length, he looked me over. "God…Reno. Never thought I'd see you again. After what happened, we all thought you were dead."

I'd known Mason for years. I couldn't even remember how we met anymore. Hell, I couldn't even remember a time when I _hadn't_ known the short blonde. Looking him over, I realized he hadn't changed a bit since I'd last seen him. He looked bright, happy and energetic as ever. And absolutely nothing like a drug dealer. Go figure. Then again, Mason was just as much a businessman as President Shinra himself. He wasn't stupid. He treated white bliss like a commodity, his philosophy one of, "I sell it, I don't use it." 

I smiled at him. "Nah…I'm harder to kill then a roach."

He returned the smile. "Well, then where have you been? No one's seen you in…what? Six months? Seven? Where the hell did you disappear to?"

Plunking down on his desk, I couldn't squelch the proud smile that curled my lips, "I guess I kinda moved up in the world."

Mason seemed to notice Rude for the first time then, glancing from me, to Rude and back again. He raised an eyebrow. "Did you now? So what is it that you're doing?"

Oh…_this_ was gonna be good. Poor Mason was gonna have a heart attack when he heard this. "Ever heard of the Turks?" I asked.

He stared at me, doing a passable imitation of a landed fish," You-you're kidding, right? A _Turk?" _He looked over at Rude, "Is he serious?"

Eloquent as ever, I noticed with a grin, Rude merely nodded.

Looking faint, Mason shook his head in disbelief. "I need to sit down,' he said, flopping down into the nearest chair. "I can't believe it…" he muttered. "A Turk. No one here ends up topside…and especially not as a Turk."

"Well," I said, almost feeling sorry for my poor friend, "There's a first time for everything."

He snorted, grinning ruefully. "You're right there, kid," he looked about to say something more, when his eyes widened in realization, and his face took on a slightly suspicious look. "Am I correct in guessing that this is no social visit?"

I winced. Damn. Sometimes Mason was too sharp for his own good. "Well, truthfully, I did come here because I need your help."

"With?"

I quickly explained the situation to him, the psycho sending the threatening letters, finding the traces of white bliss. "I know that if anyone can find out who this guy is, you can. Please Mason, I need your help on this."

Shooting me a dark look, he said flatly, "You're asking me to sell out one of my customers. I can't do that Reno, you know better."

Faster then I could blink, Rude at his gun out, business end pointed at Mason's head. Mason stared at the gun with wide eyes.

I snorted, smacking Rude's shoulder. "For Christ's sake, Rude! Put the damned gun away! He's my _friend_ you idiot, we aren't going to shoot him!"

Casting a rather dubious glance at me, Rude complied, tucking the gun back in his holster.

I grinned apologetically at Mason, who was still staring wide-eyed at Rude. "Sorry about that. He can get a little…overzealous at times." I sighed, "So, Mason, are you going to help, or not? Customer or not, this guy is crazy, and he's going to make a play for President Shinra. And if actually manages to kill him, that'll mean bad news for everyone." 

Glaring at me, he said, "If it was anyone but you, Reno…" Standing up, he walked over to his desk, grabbing a piece of paper and scribbling something down on it. "His name is Derek Evers. If it's one of my people, then it's him. He's downright obsessed with Shinra." Mason handed me the paper, on which he'd written an address. "You see, Derek's a bastard."

"You're telling me," I replied.

Mason shook his head. "No, I mean a bastard in the literal sense. Apparently way back when Shinra was barely more then a kid, he had a fling with Derek's mother, and well," he shrugged, "You get the picture. I don't think Shinra even knows he exists. Anyway, I've been to his place once, and it's downright creepy. Like some sort of sick shrine. He's got pictures of Shinra, news clippings and the like all over his walls. He's fixated on the man, and completely crazy."

I nodded and smiled at him, grateful for the information. Mason wasn't the kind of guy to sell out his own people. "Thanks Mason. I really appreciate this."

"You'd better," he grumbled, still looking irate, "Now get out of my goddamned face."

Giving Rude a gentle shove out the door, I turned to go. "Oh, and Reno?"

I glanced back at Mason. "Yeah?"

He smiled, "It's good to see you again."

I returned the smile, glad that he wasn't really angry. "You too, man."

"And one more thing," he said. I just shot him a questioning look.

"You tell anyone about this, and I'll kill you."

Once we were back out on the street, I studied the address. I knew the place. It actually wasn't too far from here. Glancing up at Rude I was about to say something when I noticed him glaring back at the apartment building. "Oh, for Christ's sake, Rude! He wasn't serious! We really gotta work on your sense of humor, man. Anyway," I said, grinning up at him, "Shall we go pay Mr. Evers a visit?"

A few minutes and one one-sided conversation later, we were standing outside the home of one Derek Evers. According to the address anyway. Looking at the decrepit little shack in front of me, I wasn't so sure. It didn't look like anyone had lived in the place for years. Shrugging, I glanced at Rude, gesturing to the door. "Women, children and tanks first," I said, smiling sweetly.

He regarded me silently for a moment then, jerking his head in the direction of the shack, he said, "I believe you said women before tanks."

I stared at him, jaw dropping. "You…just…" I couldn't help but grin. "Bravo Rude, there's hope for you yet," I turned toward the door, then paused and glanced over my shoulder, "Remind me to kick your ass for that later."

Walking up to the door, Rude my ever-present shadow, I debated how best to go about it. I shrugged, well, why not try the good old fashioned way first? I rapped on the door and waited.

Nothing.

I knocked again, harder this time.

Still nothing.

"Well," I said, looking over at Rude. "Nobody can accuse me of not trying to be civil first." Half-expecting it to be locked, I blinked in surprise when the door came open easily. Shrugging to myself, I stepped inside.

The shack was a little bigger then it looked from the outside, and a little cleaner. Not much, but at least it was something. Candles were strewn about the room, casting flickering shadows on the wall. And the wall…I stared. Mason hadn't been kidding when he said this guy was loopy. There were pictures of Shinra everywhere. Large and small, some black and white, some color. Most of them were accompanied by various news articles.

Crazy.

Glancing over at another wall, I noticed this one was different then the others. This one was covered in pictures of Shinra's kid. Some of these were torn, some scribbled on. Hell, there were even knives sticking out of some of the pictures. I glanced over at the pictures of the president back to those of Rufus. It was like a shrine, and an anti-shrine.

Then it struck me. This guy wasn't really after Shinra, he was after Shinra's kid! I'd bet all the money in the world that those letters to Shinra had been a diversion, drawing attention to Shinra and leaving Rufus next to ignored. I whistled. Pretty impressive. The guy might be crazy, but he wasn't stupid. If he really was old man Shinra's bastard kid, then it made perfect sense that he'd hate Rufus. Rufus got the money, the power, and the father. This guy had a shack in the slums, and a lot of bitterness.

"Who are you!?"

Startled, I turned from my inspection of the wall to see a guy standing in the doorway, pointing a gun at Rude and shaking so bad it'd be a wonder if he hit anything. The guy's gaze shifted back and forth between us wildly, and suddenly his eyes widened. "Turks!" he hissed, and pulled the trigger.

Rude dove out of the way, and I couldn't tell if he'd been hit or not. Normally I'm not one for guns, but I kept one on me in case of an emergency, and this qualified. Whipping it out, I realized I didn't have time to aim as the guys turned to shoot at me. Hoping to hell luck was with me, I pointed it in his general direction and pulled the trigger.

The guy cried out in pain, right shoulder bleeding. Switching the gun to his left hand, he tried to take another shot at me. 

He never got the chance.

Barely sparing a glance at the now dead man, I rushed to Rude's side, looking him over worriedly. "So help me god, Rude, if you're dead I'll kill you." I muttered, checking for wounds. To my relief, I discovered he wasn't dead, just a little dazed.

Rude was one lucky bastard. The shot had gone too high, but only barely. The bullet had grazed the top of his head, leaving barely more then a scratch. Unfortunately, the bullet had also taken a fair amount of hair with it, leaving Rude with a large and rather amusing bald spot.

"You okay?" I asked worriedly, helping him to his feet.

"Yeah." He replied, touching the top of his head gingerly. "That was close…"

"You can say that again! You're one lucky little bastard!" I exclaimed, relieved beyond words that he was okay.

"We should get back," He said quietly, looking down at the body, "Tseng will want to know he's dead."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Mission accomplished." I said, saluting Tseng crisply as I walked into his office. I'd left Rude in the infirmary to get the scratch on his head looked at. Just in case.

Tseng looked up, startled. "Already?" he asked.

I quickly explained the events of earlier that day to him, including my suspicion that the guy was after Rufus, not old man Shinra like everyone thought. He digested the information silently, and after I finished he just sat there for a moment, looking thoughtful.

I had to resist the urge to squirm. Why wasn't he saying anything? Shouldn't he be happy that Rude and I had found the guy? Or had I done something wrong?

I'd managed to get myself so worked up by the time he finally spoke that I was convinced I was going to be executed for something. So sue me, I have an overactive imagination sometimes.

He smiled then, shaking his head. "I'm impressed Reno. I never expected you to find him so quickly, and I'm not sure anyone else would have noticed the traces of the drug on the letter, or if they had, they would have likely dismissed it as nothing. It seems I made the right choice."

I had to resist the urge to grin like an idiot when he said that, the simple praise worth more then the satisfaction of finding the guy. I know I'm pathetic, but I couldn't help it.

He stood up, still smiling at me. "I should probably find Heidegger and the President and fill them in. I'm sure President Shinra will be quite relieved when he hears the news," he was halfway out the door when he paused and looked back at me. "So, do you believe me now?"

I blinked at him, confused. "Believe you…?"

"When I said you'd make a good Turk, I meant it." With that he vanished out the door. 

Giving in, I let the stupid smile make its was to my lips. Shaking my head, I headed toward to infirmary to see if my buddy felt up to a little celebrating.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I looked at Rude, bursting into another fit of giggles, "You're _bald!_" I crowed, for what was probably the sixth time that night.

Looking at me over the top of his glass, Rude raised an eyebrow, "And you're drunk." He pointed out.

I nodded happily, snatching Rude's glass out of his hand and downing it in one gulp. "I'm bald, you're drunk. It's all good." I paused, realizing something wasn't quite right about that sentence, then shrugged it off.

Rude just shook, a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Maybe we should go, Reno. Before you pass out on the floor."

Pouting, I shot him my best, 'Aw, do we have to?' look. "But I'm just getting started! I could take another ten rounds, no problem!" I declared.

"'Fraid not, honey," said the cocktail waitress as she picked up the empty glasses. "You've had quite enough." I turned my pout on her, and she just smiled, "That ain't gonna work with me, love. Cute as you are, I'm still not gonna let you have any more. You can pass out on _your_ floor, not mine."

I sighed dramatically and stood up, "What's the world coming to these days? A guy can't even drink himself stupid anymore."

Following suit, Rude led me out of the bar saying, "Reno, I think you're well past stupid and on your way to comatose."

I giggled. I did that when I was drunk, I didn't laugh, I giggled. I probably would have been irritated had I been sober enough to notice. "That's two! Two jokes in one day! I'm so proud."

Rude just snorted and led me away from the bar.

About a half an hour later, I stood staring rather dumbly at Tseng's front door. Somewhere between the bar and home, I must have forgotten I didn't live here anymore. Rude would probably should have walked me home, ya know, to make sure I actually got there, but the big guy had been a little on the smashed side himself.

I shrugged and decided it didn't matter. I went to open the door, frowning when I discovered it was locked. Not very nice of Tseng, locking me out. After a moment's consideration, I decided that if I knocked, he'd open the door. So knock I did.

Loudly.

A few moments later the door opened, and I was faced with a rumpled, tired and half naked Tseng. "Reno?" He asked, looking a little confused and opened the door wider so I could come in.

"Hello, Tseng!" I chirped, grinning at him.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, blinking at me tiredly.

I considered the question. "No, nothing's wrong. Well," I amended, "the lady _did_ kick me out of the bar…" And the pout was back.

Tseng raised his eyebrows at that. "Ah," he said, as if that explained everything.

I turned around, so Tseng and I were eye to eye, huffing slightly. Okay, maybe it was more like eye to nose. Whatever. Anyway, I was about to ask him what the hell he meant by that, when my words died on my lips and I just stared, coming to a realization.

He was beautiful.

I couldn't believe I'd never noticed before. That long, thick hair, his face, his body. And his _eyes_. Damned if he didn't have the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen. I just stared at him, unable to take my eyes away.

He frowned slightly. "Reno? Are you okay?" God, even his voice was beautiful.

I opened my mouth to answer, hand moving of it's own accord to touch his cheek. "I…" I knew I was drunk, and if I had any sense I'd get the hell outta there before I did something stupid. "I just realized something." I stood there a moment longer, that sober part in the back of my mind telling me what a raging, senseless idiot I was.

I kissed him.

Tseng froze, probably from shock. Silently willing him to respond, I closed the small distance between us, pressing as close to him as I could. 

That seemed to snap him out of his daze and he jerked away, staring at me in surprise. "Reno…" He started.

"Yes?" I purred, staring at him with half lidded eyes.

"You're drunk," he said flatly. "You-"

Not bothering to let him finish, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him again. He pulled away quickly this time to my irritation, shaking his head. "Reno. You're drunk, you don't know what you're doing."

That gave me pause, and I cocked my head thoughtfully. "You're gorgeous, I want you, and right now I'm trying my damnedest to get down your pants." I shot him a lazy smile, "And _you_ are being very uncooperative, I might add."

"Reno…" He started again, but I ignored him. What followed probably would have amused anyone else there to see it. I would advance, he'd back away. If it was anyone else, he probably would have punched me by now or something, but he seemed at a loss for how do deal with it. The odd little chase continued for a while, until, lucky me, he backed into the couch, tripped, and ended up lying on it.

Not one to waste such an opportunity, I was on him in an instant, straddling his waist and practically purring. Instead of kissing him, which hadn't really had the best of results thus far, I went for his neck instead, the lust and alcohol having thoroughly buried my better judgment.

I felt him tense up, about to push me off, when I found it. I heard his breath catch as my lips brushed over a spot just under his jaw, near his ear. Bingo. Assaulting the spot in earnest with lips, tongue and teeth, I nearly smiled when his breathing quickened to the point where he was practically panting. His hands were clutching at my thighs convulsively, and every so often a soft whimper would escape his throat. Oh yes, this was definitely a sensitive spot.

I pulled back slightly so I could look at him, realizing with a deep sense of satisfaction that he wanted this as badly as I did. It had just taken a little bit of…convincing to make him forget about his moral dilemma. He stared at me for a moment with those dark, beautiful eyes of his, then grabbed me by the front of my shirt, pulled me down and kissed me. I was in heaven. Just as I broke the kiss, intent on moving on to other, more interesting activities, something horrible happened. 

All the alcohol in my system chose that moment to catch up to me, and I passed out.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

*giggles* Sorry, couldn't resist. I'm so evil.

Reno: *teary eyes* *sniff* Meany….

Next chapter: The dreaded morning after, Tseng blushes, and Reno goes crazy. ^^


	6. Chapter 6

Again, I get the notes written, and the program dies! Argh!

Anyhoo, here you go, ladies and gents! A little Reno torture for your reading pleasure. *evil grin* Enjoy.

*huggles Race until his (her?) face turns read and he (she?) starts gasping for air* Thankee!! That's just the little boost I needed! Heh…it doesn't take much. ^___^ Oh, and quite frankly, I don't know how I'm going to handle _writing_ Tseng's death. Probably cry. ^^;

Sorry for the shortness of the chapter, but it seemed like a good place to end it. ^_^

~*~Requiem: Part 6~*~

I sighed, feeling strangely content. I was warm, comfortable, and everything was permeated with a sense of happiness. Even my hangover. I felt like shit, and my head was pounding, but even that couldn't chase the unaccustomed sense of comfort away. I know it sounds corny, but I felt like I could stay that way forever, and be perfectly happy about it. 

Still half asleep, I curled closer to the warm body next to me, shifting my position slightly and tucking my head up under my companion's chin. A small, half formed thought tickled at the back of my mind, but I pushed it away, wanting only to go back to sleep. But the damn thing kept persisting, and finally I gave in with a sigh.

__

How the hell did I end up in bed with someone?

The thought woke me up as effectively as a brick upside the head. I didn't move, feigning sleep. I didn't want to wake up whoever it was, not until I could remember how I got there. And _who_ the hell it was I was sleeping on, for that matter.

Digging around in my pounding head, I tried to piece together the events of the night before, memories vague at best. I remembered drinking. A lot. Now that I thought about it, I didn't think I'd drunk so much in my entire life. I was surprised I hadn't…I dunno, crashed into a wall and died or something equally embarrassing.

Okay, so…Rude and I went to a bar. I frowned slightly, trying to piece the scraps of memory into something that made a little more sense. We went to the bar to celebrate the success of our first official mission. And…Tseng was…a cocktail waitress? No, that wasn't right. I remembered the cocktail waitress, but it wasn't Tseng. A mental image flashed through my mind, and I almost laughed. Tseng in a skirt, serving drinks. 

Pushing the amusing thought away, I tried again. Something about the waitress…maybe it was her? The thought was an unsettling one, and stupid at that. My arm was draped across a nicely muscled, and very _male_ chest. _Okay, scratch the cocktail waitress, _I thought, blaming my stupidity on my hangover.

The lady had kicked me out of the bar, not slept with me. So, who else did that leave? Rude? I almost had a heart attack at the thought. I mean, don't get me wrong, I loved the big guy, but…no. Just, no. I pushed away the thought with relief when I realized the guy was too small to be Rude.

So, no Rude. After leaving the bar, my memory was a complete mess. A few vague impressions, but nothing solid. I sighed, making a face. So I guess that must have meant I just picked up on some guy, or the guy picked up on me, and here I was. How messy. I firmly reminded myself never to drink that much again.

But, on the upside, I was warm, comfortable, and the guy smelled good. A little like sandalwood and…something else. Something nice. Actually, now that I thought about it, he smelled a lot like Tseng.

Tseng…In fact, he smelled exactly like Tseng. It took a few moments before the logical conclusion of that thought made itself known.

I was in bed with Tseng.

Like a switch had been flipped, all the events of the night before came back in a flood. I remembered showing up at Tseng's front door, deciding that I wanted him, and proceeding to make a complete and total _ass_ of myself. 

Good fucking _god!_ What the hell got into me? And what the hell had made me up and decide that I wanted to get laid? By _Tseng_ of all people! And worse then that, I didn't even remember! I remember showing up, pawing him, jumping on him when he tripped, then…it just went blank. Nothing. This was crazy. I'd just slept with Tseng, and I didn't even fucking remember!

My mind in an uproar, I was trying to figure out what the hell to _do_ about this whole situation, when I became aware of a very pleasant sensation. One of Tseng's arms was draped over my shoulders, hand resting between my shoulder blades, thumb lightly stroking over the short hairs on the back of my neck. 

The soft touch kept sending little shivers of pleasure down my spine. It felt good. Very, very good, and it was quite successfully pushing all rational thought out of my mind. If he didn't stop doing that, I was going to be in serious danger of repeating my actions from the night before. Not that I really cared right then. I was too busy melting into a useless puddle of want. If people could purr, I'd be doing it right about then. "Mmm…that's nice…." I murmured.

I hadn't realized I'd spoken out loud until the stroking stopped, and Tseng shifted slightly beneath me. I cursed silently. I didn't want to face him quite yet. Though, I supposed it was a good thing that he stopped. It would hardly make things better if I ended up jumping him. Again. I made a face.

"Reno?" His throat vibrated slightly against my ear when he spoke. 

I briefly considered pretending I was still asleep, then decided not to bother. I opened my eyes, wincing as the light intensified my headache. I lifted my head enough so that I could look at him, blinking tiredly. "Hmm?" That was about as eloquent as I got first thing in the morning.

My shirt, I noticed in irritation, was twisted up in an uncomfortable manner. The thought gave me pause. Shirt? I suddenly realized that, aside from my shoes, I was still fully clothed. Which meant that unless I decided to get dressed afterwards, Tseng and I _hadn't_ slept together. Well, I amended silently, we'd obviously slept together, but there hadn't been any sex involved. Instead of feeling relieved like I expected, I felt almost…disappointed. I pushed the odd feeling aside, realizing Tseng had just said something. "What?" I asked.

Tseng raised an eyebrow at me, "I asked you how you felt," he repeated.

"Oh." Too tired to try and keep my head up anymore, I let it fall back to rest on Tseng's chest. "Shitty. My head feels like little men crawled inside and began trying to dig out with jackhammers." I replied. He was silent, and after a few minutes, I decided that I was going to try and save my butt by playing dumb. I can be such a chickenshit sometimes. "Tseng?"

"Yes?"

I lifted my head to look at him again. "How the hell did I get here?"

To my surprise, Tseng blushed. He actually _blushed._ I've never seen Tseng blush before. I just stared at him, not quite sure what to make of it. "You were drunk last night."

I couldn't help but smile a little at that. Thank you Tseng, for stating the obvious. "I know that, but thanks for reminding me. Now, how did I get _here?_" 

Tseng, wonder of wonders, actually blushed _again._ "I imagine you probably walked," he replied quietly.

Raising my eyebrows slightly, I had to fight off a grin. Tseng was definitely avoiding the issue. Poor bastard. I probably traumatized him last night…I was all over him like a horny teenager. I told the part of my mind that informed me that I _was_ as horny teenager to shut the hell up. "Well," I said, "That was informative."

Tseng blushed yet again. I am such a prick. Then again, I've always thought it to be one of my more charming qualities. Ya know, an asshole in a lovable sorta way. Besides, I was trying to play this off like I didn't remember what happened, and since as far as Tseng knew, I _didn't_ remember, I wasn't really being a prick. 

Besides, he was kinda cute when he blushed.

Oh, hell. I gave myself a mental slap upside the head and told my hormones to behave. For Christ's sake, I was never this bad. Maybe it was a side effect of almost getting laid, but not quite. Or maybe it had something to do with the way he was touching me earlier, or the fact we were already in bed, and he was half naked and _right there_….

I shook my head, trying to banish the thoughts. If I kept thinking along those lines, I was just going to make it worse. It was bad enough that I was suffering from a severe case of want, directed at Tseng of all people. I wouldn't be able to play stupid if my body suddenly made its desires known. Now would be a good time to think of something completely unrelated to sex. Or, even better, something anti-sex. Something really nasty, like…Heidegger naked or something.

My disgust at that thought must have shown plainly on my face, because Tseng's eyebrows suddenly drew together in a frown. "What's the matter?" He asked.

My stomach was churning violently, though I wasn't sure if it was from the hangover, or from the thought of Heidegger. "I…I think I'm gonna be sick," I muttered, crawling out of bed and making a dash for the bathroom.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I was going crazy. Absolutely fucking insane. 

I prowled around my apartment restlessly, trying to think of something, anything else to occupy my thoughts. Anything but Tseng. Anything besides how much I wanted him. How much I wanted him to touch me, how much I wanted to kiss him again, how much I wanted to finish what I started that night…I cut off the dangerous thought with a frustrated growl. It was if somehow that night I'd opened a floodgate I had no idea how to close.

This went beyond simple hormones and was bordering on obsession. Every time I closed my eyes, I'd see him. I'd see the way he looked at me for that brief moment, my own desires mirrored in those beautiful eyes. I could almost believe it. Believe he wanted me, that he was home right now suffering just as badly. But I'd fought dirty, and I'd be the first to admit it. We all had our little…sensitivities, and exploited properly, you could use them to turn anyone into a helpless mass of lust. Tseng was no exception. 

I was nothing but a bundle of frustrated energy. Glancing over at the couch, I noticed Merry sitting on the back, watching me. And probably laughing at me. I could almost _see_ her green eyes glint in amusement. "What're _you_ looking at, cat?" I grumbled, "You should count yourself lucky. At least cats don't have to worry about each other's feelings. If they wanna screw, they screw. Hell, that's the way it works for _humans_ most of the time! Just not this time. Oh no, _that_ would be just too fucking _easy_, now wouldn't it!?"

Someone knocked on the door. Stalking over, I threw it open, growling, "What?"

Eric stood in the doorway, eyebrows raised. "Well, _someone_ seems a bit on edge today," he said dryly, coming inside.

"You could say that," I muttered, slamming the door, oddly satisfied at the loud noise.

"In fact," Eric continued, "You've seemed rather on edge for the past _week._"

"So fucking what?" I muttered.

Smiling smugly, he shrugged, "And so has Tseng."

That surprised me. As far as I could tell, Tseng had been his usual calm, collected self. "He has?"

Eric nodded, looking far too pleased with himself, "It's not hard to figure out why, seeing as you've been mooning at him like a love struck puppy for the last week."

"I am _not_ a love struck puppy." I snarled, glaring at him. This bastard was really starting to piss me off. So he knew I was lusting after Tseng. Whoopee. It's not like it was that hard to figure out. Big fucking deal. He did _not_ have to show up at my front door and inform me that he knew. Hell, _Tseng_ probably knew! He wasn't stupid, and I wasn't exactly subtle.

"Whoa…" He said, holding up his hands in a placating gesture. "Settle down, Reno. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, it's just kinda…sweet, I guess. And funny."

"Well, I'm glad it fucking amuses you," I growled. Oh yeah. He was _definitely_ pissing me off. I'll just fucking bet it was funny. I mean, just thinking of all the reasons why it _couldn't_ happen was probably funny to the bastard. Tseng was my boss, for one. He was probably straight, and even if he wasn't, he was fucking gorgeous. He could have anyone he wanted, and I certainly wouldn't be on that list. He was at _least_ ten years older than me, maybe more. He probably just thought of me as a kid. Like a…son, or something. The thought made my stomach turn. It was hopeless.

Eric winced. "Sorry, I didn't really mean it like that," he shot me an appraising look. "You're really upset about this whole thing, aren't you? I mean, when Tseng isn't around, you always look kinda…miserable. And distant. And you're losing weight. Everyone's worried about you, 'specially Deia." He smiled slightly, "You know how she can be when she's worried about one of her 'babies.'"

I made a mental note to avoid Deia for the rest of my life. I loved her to death, but she did have a tendency to be…mothering. In the extreme. I sighed. "It's that obvious?"

Eric nodded. "Yeah. Hell, even _Donovan_ said something, and he can't stand you."

"Yeah…" I muttered, "I know." I rubbed the bridge of my nose tiredly. I hadn't been sleeping very well, either. "So why are you here, Eric? If it's just to point out that I'm really fucking pathetic, I know that already."

"I'm here because it's pretty obvious that you need some help." 

I just stared at him. Help? Fucking hell, he was going to try and send me to one of those damned headshrinkers, wasn't he? I may be screwed up, but I wasn't _that_ screwed up. "Listen, Eric. I don't-"

"So!" He interrupted cheerfully, "I'm going to help you get Tseng."

My jaw dropped and I just stood there, gaping at him. "Are you…serious?"

Eric nodded. "As a heart attack. First off, it's obvious that you're stuck on the guy. Secondly, I think Tseng needs this as badly as you do." He frowned slightly, "Tseng's always alone. Been alone for as long as I've known him. No one can live in that kind of emotional isolation, it's not healthy. And third, he cares about you. A lot. It may not seem like it to you, but to those of us that have known him for years…it's obvious. He's always happy when he's with you, and I don't think I've seen him in such good humor in ages. And it's because of you." He shrugged and grinned, "Sounds like you two make a lot of sense."

My head was reeling. This was just a little too much to handle at once. And something told me that the others were in on this, too. Turks trying to play matchmaker. I eyed Eric's wicked grin warily and sighed. 

What the hell had I gotten myself into?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Next chapter: Eric plays matchmaker, and Reno suffers even more. Poor baby. ^___^


	7. Chapter 7

YES!!!! FINALLLY! *dances around madly* It only took me...what, two months to get this part out? >_ 

Er...anyhoo...many loves, huggles, glomps, and thanks to Valentine_Angel for her help with this part. (The weapons storage room and 8,000 grenades are thanks to her. ^^) She gave me the little kick in the pants I needed. 

I probably shouldn't post this yet, seeing as I haven't even gone over it once yet, but it's 1:45am, and I'm too sleep deprived to care. I'll probably beat myself up over it tomorrow. ^_^ 

Oh, and please review! Pretty please? 

Enjoy! 

~*~Requiem: Part 7~*~ 

I walked into headquarters the next day to find a large group of Turks huddled around Deia's desk, talking in hushed voices. Curious, I walked over in time to hear Maya say, "…seem like such a good idea to me." 

"What doesn't seem like a good idea?" I piped up. 

Everyone froze at the sound of my voice, looking like they were trying very hard not to look guilty. Oh hell, that was not a good sign. And neither were the knowing looks I was receiving. I shot Eric a dirty look. What the fucking hell? Was everyone in on it? I was going to kick his ass for this, I really was. 

"Nothing dear, nothing at all," Deia said, looking me over with a critical eye, "How are you feeling? You know Reno, you're looking awfully thin, are you eating?" 

I made a face. "I'm fine Deia, don't worry about me, I've been eating tons! It's just your imagination," I lied. 

She just shot me a look that plainly said she didn't believe me and shook her head. "I wish you'd take better care of yourself…you're thin enough as it is, you can't afford to lose any weight! I just worry about you Reno, this isn't healthy." 

To my utter shock, Donovan actually spoke up, "We can't have you wasting away, brat. Tseng wouldn't be too happy about that." 

"You, on the other hand, would be thrilled," I shot back snidely. Rude, I know, but Donovan was actually showing concern for my welfare, if only a little. Donovan, concern, and me were not words put into the same thought, ever. It was downright freaky. Next, I'd be finding out that Heidegger was a part-time stripper and Deia was really a man. 

He just snorted, "You'll not get any arguments from me there." 

"We're all worried about you Reno," Rude said quietly, "You haven't been yourself." There were nods of agreement all around. 

I just stared at them all in surprise. They were all worried about me? Was it really so obvious? I wasn't sure whether to be touched, or upset at them for poking their noses in where they didn't belong. In a lot of respects, I guess the Turks were like a family…including the absolute lack of privacy, nosiness, and a whole bunch of other things that were irritating as hell. But, at the same time, when it came down to it, anyone of us would stick out our necks for the others. Even Donovan, royal asshole though he was. 

I was about to say something when Eric hopped off Deia's desk and said, "Hey, Reno? Could you help me with something?" 

I was about to say no, considering I was really, really pissed at him at the moment, but changed my mind. Any excuse to get away from everyone was welcome. "Sure…look everyone. I'm fine. I'm not a baby, I can handle my own problems, so will you just please back off and leave me the hell alone?" I took off into the back without waiting for an answer. 

Eric followed after me a second later, frowning. "Y'know Reno, that wasn't cool, they're just--" 

I didn't let him finish, grabbing him by the shirt and slamming him against the wall, "Next time, I'd appreciate it if you'd keep your fucking mouth shut, and refrain from telling the whole god damned world when I have a problem! Got it, you loudmouthed bastard?" I let go of him and he shot me a dirty look. 

"Chill out Reno! You've been too damned high strung lately!" He smoothed out the front of his suit, "Actually, I didn't tell them a damned thing. They all pretty much figured things out for themselves, same as I did. You might want to get the whole story before you go throwing around accusations next time." 

I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. "Sorry Eric…I'm just a little upset I guess." And I was. This whole thing with Tseng was only getting worse, and it was driving me absolutely fucking mad! I felt like a woman, what with all the damned mood swings I'd been going through. One moment I was perfectly happy, then the next I was angry, and in the space of another heartbeat I felt like crying. I just couldn't quite figure out what the hell was wrong with me. Something as simple as lust wasn't supposed to do this to a person. 

I guess my misery was plain on my face, because Eric just touched my shoulder and said, "It's okay, I'm not mad. Cheer up, alright? It's not the end of the world…everything will turn out okay." 

"If you say so…" I muttered not really feeling very encouraged. 

"I do!" Eric said, smiling, "Just have faith. Anyhow, I need you to help get some stuff from the weapons supply room. They're sending a couple of guys to Junon on a mission, and they need some extra weapons. You know how it is…the execs never give them enough." 

"Yeah, sure. No problem," I said, following him down the hall. "Hey, have you seen Tseng today?" I asked. 

"Nope," Eric said, using his keycard to unlock the hallway that led to the storeroom. "He's probably in his office, buried under a pile of paperwork. I kinda feel sorry for the poor bastard. Tseng's the one who gets stuck with all the paperwork a technical shit that goes with this job. It's a wonder he has any time to do anything else." He grinned over at me, "I'm sure you'll see him today." 

I sighed, "Yeah…probably." I couldn't quite decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I wanted to spend time around Tseng, cuz truthfully, I adored the guy. He was great company, and it was a nice change of pace from Eric's perpetual good humor, Deia's mothering, and Rude's…well, let's just say that the big guy wasn't the best conversationalist. On the other hand though…it just made all the shit I was feeling even worse, and right now, the last thing I needed was more turmoil and confusion. 

In short, life really fucking sucked right now. 

"Here it is!" Eric said, sticking his keycard in the slot. He swept me a bow, grinning. "After you, my dear redheaded prick." 

I snorted and muttered, "Shut the hell up," I opened the door, and suddenly Eric pushed me through, slamming it shut behind me. I stumbled, nearly losing my balance and cursed. "What the hell was that for?" I shouted, trying to open the door. 

Locked. 

The bastard had fucking locked me in! "I swear, when I get out of here Eric, I'm going to kick your ass so hard you'll wind up in Wutai! Now open the door!" 

"Sorry Reno," Came Eric's muffled voice, not sounding sorry in the slightest, "This is for your own good." 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I jiggled the handle, then pounded on the door, "Damn it Eric! Open the god damned door!" 

"I'm afraid that won't work," Came a voice from behind me, "I tried it already. He didn't let me out, so I highly doubt he'll let you out either." 

I nearly had a heart attack. Tseng. Well, it was pretty damned clear what Eric had been thinking now. I was going to kill that idiot next time I saw him. No mercy. And he was going to suffer first. 

I sighed and turned around to face Tseng, "So, how long have you been in here?" 

"About an hour," Tseng said, "but at least now I have some company," I thought I saw him smile, but it was hard to tell. The only light was what filtered in from underneath the door. 

"I swear, I'm going to kill him for this!" I muttered irritably. 

Tseng made a noise of agreement, "I'll admit, it is a bit much. Pranks have their place, but how long does he intend to keep us here? And how many others will be joining us I wonder?" 

"I have a feeling its just going to be us," I said. 

"Well, might as well make the best of it, then, hm?" Tseng turned around and sat down with his back to one of the crates. 

"Yeah…" I muttered, plunking down beside him, "Just you, me, and about 8,000 hand grenades. Wanna play charades? Or maybe Truth or Dare? Tseng chuckled slightly, and I began to wonder if sitting so close to him had been such a hot idea. Under normal circumstances, it wouldn't have been a problem, but now….well, I wasn't so sure. 

Tseng seemed content to remain silent for the moment, so I took the opportunity to just look at him. Not that I could see him very well, but on the upside, that meant he couldn't catch me staring. He really was beautiful…well, at least no one could accuse me of having bad taste, even if this whole problem was insane. 

"Reno," He said after a few minutes, "what's wrong?" 

"Wrong?" I asked. 

"You've seemed rather…distant lately," he said, sounding troubled, "you're losing weight, and you don't look as though you've been sleeping well." 

"It's nothing, I just…" I trailed off, unable to finish the lie. Somehow, I found it damn near impossible to lie to Tseng. "I've just been feeling a little…weird lately," I finished lamely. 

Tseng just sighed and shook his head. "Somehow I think it's more then that. I'm not trying to be nosy, I'm just concerned. I don't like seeing you like this. I find it rather upsetting, and I wish you'd talk to me about it." 

At that moment, I wanted to. I just wanted to curl up beside him and pour out all my frustrations, all my conflicting, senseless emotions. But that would create far more problems then it would solve. "I'm sorry," I said quietly. 

"Well," he said, shifting slightly, "If you ever decide that you do want to get whatever it is off your chest, I'll be there. Or for anything else, for that matter." 

I couldn't help but smile, "Thanks." 

He said nothing, merely nodded. I sat there, watching him for a few moments when a thought occurred to me. Something I'd been wondering for a while and just never remembered to ask. "Hey…Tseng? Where are you from, anyway? I mean, you don't exactly look like most of the people in Midgar." 

Tseng chuckled, "No, no I suppose I don't. I was born here actually, but my mother was from Wutai. I resemble her more then I do my father." 

"Wutai?" I said, surprised, "No kidding…Does it bother you that we're at war?" I asked, curious. Tseng had never spoken to me of his past before. 

"No, not really," he replied, "I have no ties to Wutai." 

"What about your mother?" 

"She passed away a few years ago," He said. 

I mentally kicked myself. Oh, great going Reno. Just bring up his dead mother why don't you? Any more painful subjects you can think of while you're at it? "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." 

Tseng looked over at me and smiled, "Don't worry, it doesn't bother me. Why the sudden interest?" 

I just shrugged, "I dunno. I've always been curious about you, I just never got around to asking." 

"Hm…well, it's not a terribly interesting story, I'm afraid," He said, "My father worked for Shinra, he met my mother while on vacation-- that was before the tensions with Wutai --and they married shortly after. I was born and raised here in Midgar. I joined the Turks straight out of school…come to think of it, I think I was actually your age. And here I am." Tseng shrugged apologetically, "Not much to tell. I had a terribly ordinary life." 

"Have you ever been married?" I asked, then had to resist the urge to bash my head against the wall. God, sometimes I was so stupid I disgusted myself. Have you ever been married? Why? Well, you see, I'm lusting after you madly…I briefly debated pulling out my gun and shooting myself. At least then I wouldn't ask any more stupid questions. 

Thankfully, Tseng only laughed and shook his head. "Married? No. I've developed quite a reputation for being something of a lone wolf in that respect." He looked over at me, "And what of you? I never really learned much of your history, if you don't mind my asking." 

I blinked in surprise, rather taken aback. I wasn't used to people expressing interest in my life. I shrugged slightly, unsure what to say. "Uh…well…I never knew my parents. I don't even remember who raised me; I've been on my own as far back as I can remember. I spent most my life on the streets, stealing what I needed here and there. Until I picked up Marrick that is," My chest restricted painfully at the memory. Even now, it still hurt. Shaking the thoughts of Marrick away, I continued, "I couldn't steal enough for the both of us, not without getting caught anyway. I'm good, but not that good." 

"After that, I had to come up with some way to make money, so I…" I trailed off, embarrassed. I knew I was blushing, and was thankful Tseng couldn't see it. This really wasn't something I wanted him to know about, I didn't want him to think less of me for it. I sighed, "Well, I started to do something I wasn't to thrilled about for extra cash." 

Tseng looked at me, and I could tell from his expression he knew what I meant. "Such a shame," he murmured. 

I shifted uncomfortably, "Uh...anyway, things kinda got pretty bad after that. I was pretty damned miserable, I hated having to do that sort of thing. And then…an angel appeared and rescued me," I finished quietly. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, trying to judge his reaction. Damn, but I was saying things that I shouldn't be a lot today. Luckily for me, Tseng was being a little dense about the whole thing. 

He just sat there for a moment, before saying, "I'm no angel, Reno." 

"You seemed that way to me," I said, "you still do." Man…my mouth and my brain really weren't communicating today. Tseng might have been dense sometimes, but he wasn't stupid, if I didn't shut up soon he was going to catch on. 

Tseng looked over at me, eyes catching mine. We sat like that for a long moment, just looking at each other, and I was gripped by the strangest feeling. A fluttering, tightening sensation in my chest that left me feeling shaky and breathless. A sort of fear and happiness, panic and not-panic, tension and serenity and confusion swirling together in a mass of unidentifiable emotion. 

A moment ticked by. 

Then another. 

And I knew. In that one instant to the next, I knew what I felt. Staring into those beautiful, dark eyes, I couldn't believe I didn't recognize it for what it was the instant I first felt it. It wasn't just some sort of confused and misguided lust. Not even close. 

I was in love. 

I opened my mouth to speak, not sure what I was going to say, when suddenly the door slammed open, flooding the room with light. I started, blinking rapidly. 

Heidegger stood framed in the doorway, looking at us with a bewildered expression. He scratched his head and asked, "What the hell are you two doing in here?" 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Next Chapter: Er...uh...didn't think that far ahead. ^^; 

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

Whoo hoo! I'm back in business and on a roll again! *dances* Anyhoo, I know this part ended a smidge on the lame side, my apologies. It's gets better in the next part, I promise! ^_^ 

Enjoy! 

~*~Requiem: Part 8~*~ 

After that little "incident" with the weapons storeroom, and the revelation that went with it, I refused to go to work. I knew that if I saw Eric, I might very well kill the little shit, and…well, I don't think I could handle seeing Tseng. So I gave Deia some half assed excuse about being sick, which wasn't entirely a lie. I was sick, just not the way I was pretending, and holed myself up in my apartment. 

It'd been three days since I'd gone in, and I knew I should haul my pathetic ass off the couch and go, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. The very thought of seeing Tseng, of having to interact with him made me sick. I was damn near terrified of the man. How pathetic. 

Man, love sure as hell ain't what it's chalked up to be. It's not some sort of wonderful feeling that fills you with supreme happiness, or whatever the hell the movies tried to play it off as. Not even close. I finally realize that somewhere along the line I'd fallen in love with Tseng, and what happens? No flowers and lights and cheesy music, oh no. Me? I get sick. I'm not even sure it qualified as love sickness. It felt more like I had a really nasty case of the flu. 

I felt weak and nauseous, and every time I thought of Tseng, I got all shaky. I hated it. I hated this stupid, god damned feeling. I didn't _ask_ to go and fall in love with the man. This must be some sort of cruel, cosmic joke. Not only was it a hundred times _worse_ then a simple physical attraction, it was even _more_ impossible. Tseng was a great guy, but there was no way in hell he'd ever go for it. He liked me, sure, but he didn't love me. At least, not in the same respect. 

And that _hurt._ I can't even begin to describe how much. Love isn't great, it isn't wonderful. It's pain. The worst, most horrible kind of pain anyone could ever have to endure. The tight, piercing pain in my chest, not being able to breathe…I hated it. And that was produced by something so simple as a thought. I couldn't even begin to imagine how I'd react if I ever actually _saw_ the man. 

Probably cry, sad to say. I was so fucking pathetic. I wanted him so badly, that if I saw him, I'd probably start bawling like a baby. Why me? _Someone up there must really hate me,_ I thought bitterly. I wasn't good at this emotional crap. I did_ not_ handle it well. 

I could only hide here for so long. Pretty soon I'd have people showing up at my door to see if I was okay. Which I wasn't, but how could I explain that to _them?_

Suddenly Merry hopped up on the couch, butting her head under my chin and demanding attention. I smiled slightly. "Hey there beautiful," I said, scratching her ears. She started to purr, curling up beside me. "Well," I sighed, "at least you love me, right?" She just stared at me with half-lidded eyes for a moment, before apparently deciding my face wasn't clean enough and started licking it. 

I made a face, pushing her away, "Cat breath," I muttered, looking at her, "So, I'll take that as a yes?" 

Just then, someone knocked at the door. Cursing under my breath, I didn't get up to answer it. Maybe they'd go away. No such luck. They knocked a few more times, before I heard Rude say, "Open up Reno, I know you're there." 

I didn't say anything, and after a moment he added, "Open the door or I'll break it down." 

Knowing he meant it, I grumbled, "I'm coming, I'm coming. Hold yer fucking horses," I got up and unlocked the door, throwing it open. "What they hell do you want?" 

Rude stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. "I came to see if you were alright." 

"Well, I'm fine. Just fucking peachy," I muttered, "Now go away." 

He raised an eyebrow, "Actually, you look like hell." 

"Thank you, Rude, for stating the obvious," I said, "I feel like hell. Now go _away_." 

"Why?" He asked. 

I shot him an irritated look. Sometimes he could be thick as a fucking brick! Why couldn't he just go away and leave me to wallow in my misery? "Because," I said sarcastically, "I found out my father just died, so leave me to mourn in peace." 

Rude looked a little bewildered, "I thought you didn't know your parents." 

I sighed in exasperation, "One of these days Rude, I'll have to give you a lesson on the finer points of sarcasm." 

He sat down on the arm of the couch, "I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong. According to Heidegger and Tseng, when you got out of the storeroom the other day, you took off like your pants were on fire." 

I just kinda deflated. I wasn't up to arguing with him, didn't feel like putting up a fight. "You really want to know Rude?" He nodded. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair, "I realized something while I was locked in that storeroom that scared the living shit out of me. I thought, at first, that my interest in Tseng was a physical one. But…it's not," I looked down at my hands, "I…I'm in love with him," I said, so quietly it was a wonder he heard me. 

"Get dressed," he ordered. 

Surprised, I looked up at him, "Huh?" I asked intelligently. 

"Get dressed," he repeated, "We're going to headquarters." 

I shook my head, "Oh no. I can't face him Rude, I can't." I was scared. Scared of what I felt, scared that Tseng would somehow know. And most of all I was scared of how much it was going to hurt to see him knowing that he didn't return my feelings. I was a wuss. A total, complete, god damned weenie. Throw me a guy on a killing spree, no problem. But make me face my own feelings and I'll turn tail and run. I didn't even deserve Tseng. 

He just looked at me with a level stare, waiting. I squirmed underneath that gaze. "Fine!" I exploded after a few minutes, stalking off into my bedroom to dress in a fit of bad temper. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

I was sulking, I'll admit it. I was sulking like a spoiled five year old who was being forced to go to church instead of getting to watch cartoons. I stopped at the door, and Rude paused, glancing over at me, "Well?" he said. 

"Do I have to?" I asked, a distinct whine to my voice. Oh great, now I was whining. I am such a fucking baby sometimes, I swear. 

"Yes," he said, holding open the door for me, "You can't hide from it forever." 

"I can damn well try," I muttered, stepping through the doorway reluctantly. 

And, as luck would have it, there was Tseng. There was no escaping him. He was standing right next to Deia's desk, talking to her. It was only a matter of seconds before one of them noticed me. I briefly considered turning right around and making a dash for it, but Rude's hand on my shoulder squelched that idea pretty quick. 

Just then, Deia glanced over. Her eyes widened, "Reno!" She exclaimed, "What happened to you?" 

I winced. She just had to go and make a scene, didn't she? Even though I kinda understood why. When Rude had said I looked like hell, he hadn't been kidding. I'd lost a lot of weight, a result of not having eaten hardly anything in a while. My eyes were bloodshot, I was pale as a ghost, and I hadn't been sleeping well at all. 

Tseng looked up when she spoke, frowning slightly. When he took in my less then healthy appearance, his expression darkened. "Reno…" he said, walking toward me, "you look horrible." 

I felt weak. If it weren't for Rude's support, my legs might have given out. _Please no…don't touch me. Please don't…oh no. He's reaching…he's going to touch me. Shit._ It took all my willpower not to cry when he touched my chin, tilting my head up, and took off my sunglasses so he could get a better look at my face. 

I had to say something. I couldn't just keep staring at him like that. "Well," I said, trying to keep my voice light, "I've been a little on the sick side," My voice didn't break. Go me. Remind me to thank the powers that be for my acting skills. 

"Sick?" He said, shaking his head, "You look more like you got hit by a truck." 

"Uh…I was really sick?" I offered, "Actually, I'm still sick. I feel nauseous," I said truthfully. 

He made a thoughtful noise, brushing my hair back and feeling my forehead. I really, _really_ wished he'd stop touching me. It was distracting as hell. "You do feel a little feverish," Tseng said, and then thankfully, released me. 

I glanced over, hearing the door to the back open, in time to see Eric poke his head out. "Hey, Deia, have you seen…." He trailed off, noticing Tseng and I. He looked from me, to Tseng and back again. 

"You!" I growled, noticing that Tseng was giving Eric a dirty look himself. I think it was the first time I'd ever seen Tseng give _anyone_ a dirty look. 

"Uh-oh," Eric said, grimacing and ducking back inside. I dashed off after him, intent on catching him and giving the little bastard a good pounding for what he'd done. 

He hadn't made it very far before I caught up with him. I grabbed him and whirled him around to face me, "I ought to kill you for pulling that stunt!" 

Eric winced, "Listen Reno, I was only trying to help…" 

"Help?!" I screeched, getting more worked up then I should have, "How the_ hell _was that supposed to help?" 

"I was _hoping_ one of you would say something! Do something! Anything!" He sighed, "You're just making yourself miserable." 

"Sometimes, Eric, I really hate you," I hissed, releasing him and turning to go. 

"You really do love him, don't you?" 

Eric's quiet question stopped me cold. I turned back to look at him. "What?" 

He shook his head, "You do. You wouldn't be falling apart like this if you didn't." He looked at me earnestly, "Stop hurting yourself like this Reno. If you let it go on too long, you'll end up killing yourself. Talk to him. You might be surprised at what he'll say." 

I felt like crying again. Hell. This was starting to become routine. "I can't," I said, "Why just have him drive home the fact that it'll never happen? Besides…Tseng's too nice for his own good sometimes. He'll probably end up feeling guilty or something. I don't want to do that to him. If he doesn't know, then at least things can stay like they've always been." I started walking away. 

"You don't get it, Reno," Eric sighed, "you're so blind." 

I ignored him, and kept walking. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

  


I wasn't sure where to go when I left, just that I had to get away from everyone. After a little bit of wandering, I had finally settled on the one place they wouldn't think to look. Tseng's house. So I'd went there, picked the lock, and here I was, sitting in his window seat and wondering how the hell I was going to deal with things. 

I'd actually briefly considered leaving. Quitting the Turks and just taking off somewhere, anywhere but here. But the notion had been quickly discarded. I couldn't leave. As frustrating as they were being at the moment, they were still my friends, and I loved them all to death. And Tseng….I didn't think I could live without him. I needed him. Even if he would never feel for me what I felt for him, I still needed him. 

Man, I had some serious issues. I was so clingy it was disgusting. My mind would probably be a therapist's nightmare. I smiled bitterly, staring out the window. Emotions sucked. They were way too overrated. 

Well, the best way to handle everything was to forget it happened. Stop being angry with everyone; pretend like my feelings for Tseng didn't exist. I'd just let things settle down and go back to the way they used to be. It wouldn't be easy, but no one would end up getting hurt that way. Or in my case, hurt even more. 

I glanced over at the door, hearing someone unlocking it. Tseng was awfully early today, but then again, things had been pretty quiet for us lately. He probably hadn't had much to do at the office. 

The door opened, and in walked Tseng. He stuffed his keys in his pocket, shutting the door behind him. He glanced up at me and blinked. "Reno? So…this is where you disappeared to after you stormed out. How did you get in?" 

"Picked the lock," I said, "I had to hide from Eric. I hope you don't mind." _Please don't kick me out._ I pleaded silently. 

He smiled slightly, "Not at all. You're free to stay here as long as you feel like it." 

"Thanks," I said. And I meant it. Right now, I didn't really feel like going home. 

"No problem. I've actually kind of missed your company since you moved out," he said. 

I blinked at him in surprise. He'd missed me? "Well…" I said, "I've kind of missed being here." 

Tseng smiled at me, then sighed, "Though I imagine you aren't going to have much rest. Not with what happened today." 

"Huh?" I asked, "What happened?" 

He looked surprised, "You didn't hear the explosion?" 

"Explosion? What explosion?" I asked, lost. Had something blown up? 

"You've heard of that rebel group based in the slums, right?" 

I thought about it for a second. I vaguely recalled something like that. "Yeah, I think so…weren't they called…uh…rockslide, or something?" 

"AVALANCHE, actually," Tseng corrected, "but yes, that's them. They blew up the number one reactor today." 

I gaped at him, not believing what I was hearing, "You're kidding!" I exclaimed. 

"I'm afraid not," he said quietly, "I have a feeling that from here on out, things might be getting a little more interesting." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Next Chapter: This stupid story wanders into the realm of game time, and Reno gets a little love advice from...Aeris?   



End file.
